Posts
Monday, June 3, 2013
PUSSY ISSUES
I be straight up hav'n some serious hellified pussy issues! I
mean it. I don't understand the shit either! Do you? Maybe
somebody out there can relate to what I'm say'n. I mean give me
a holla. Or at least co-sign for a sista! Damn!
It's like my pussy be hav'n me in some straight up precarious
situations. It's like I be in the wrong bed, wit the wrong man, in
the wrong room! And I already know in my head that's not what I
really want. Pussy issues y'all! Real pussy issues!
Like somebody please help me out. I mean like my eyes can
see a fine ass man. Now my eyes see this, not my pussy. And
my pussy be all in a mutha fuk'n bunch! Like it's call'n out to this
fine ass man to come and satisfy it's cravings. Now what I don't
understand, is how my pussy see what my eyes see?
Impossible! Pussy issues y'all! I'm telling you. I be straight up
having some serious up and down, turn around, don't fuck
around pussy issues!
Like sometimes I can wake up in the morning, and my pussy will
start talking to me. How can my pussy talk to me and it don't
have a voice? But It does, it really does! My pussy will tell me it
needs to be rubbed, touched and caressed. Licked and sucked
on. Now I wanna know who's running who? Is my pussy
running me? Or am I running my pussy? Pussy issues y'all.
Maybe I need to seek some damn help! Get some damn
therapy! Cuzz I must be the only one going through this shit. I
haven't had no other sista come and tell me she be having the
same damn issues! Pussy issues got me twisted turned
around, fucked up all around pussy issues!
Now my pussy would loved to be loved, worshipped, licked,
sucked and handled wit care. Oh don't sleep! Don't even take a
catnap on it. But because of the troubles and mistakes my
pussy got me into before. I got to control it, and it can't control
me!
So I had to make a decision y'all, a real major decision. I
decided to rub my own pussy by myself. Keep that mutha under
control. So when my pussy get ta look'n, and talk'n like it always
does. I calm it all the way down! Pussy issues.
And I will continue to rub my own pussy until I find the right man
to rub it for me. Me, not my pussy. Cause when I find the right
one. My pussy will cherish, love, and worship that special man
when he comes along. Until then I gots ta keep my pussy on
lock down and in control! Pussy issues y'all! Straight up and
down turn around pussy issues!
05/20/01
"Just Toy"
Written Expressions
Sunday, December 30, 2012
EROTIC CITIES FLIPSIDE A NEW EPISODE COMING SOON !!
It is ironic how you are about something and then that something is not all of who and what you are really about? Like you can go to a lounge or eccentric bar and have a drink or two. But that can't put you in the group of being an alcoholic. My point is that some of us indulge in things that to an extent I would be a voyeur. Knowing this about myself, also know that there are some things I will and will not participate in, nor do I want to have any knowledge of what some do or go. My experiences with swinger life if you will fall very short to those who are inspired but this lifestyle to step in full throttle!
I love seafood!! Oh my how I love seafood! Crab, lobster and shrimp I feel I could eat everyday! But in my right realistic mind I know that if I did I would quickly get tired of it and want to eat something else. As in the case with some that do and have swung in the lifestyle very hard and full on! I could not be a person that could swing for years on a consistent basis. Not to say that who does is wrong and that they have an issue. We all have issues and flaws in on way or another. But being apart of a community of swingers and going to hang out twice a month for years with a group and then invited to go to other parties, I don't know. It gets boring and tedious after awhile.
Now that I am back in Atlanta because I had been gone for three years. I figured I would try and get my feet wet for a bit. Nothing too heavy! So I have a close friend of mine that I have been intimate with recently. I am not a fan of us, and the closeness of us bedding one another is a challenge. For me it is a challenge because so many issues and things that I didn't know about until I had come back. I will call him “Kevin” Kevin was a huge supporter of my parties when I gave them. And considered to be an open-mind candidate to watch and have sex in a group setting. We had discussed this many of times before we had gotten involved. I loved Kevin because all the tiny and large idiosyncrasies I had he understood. He also seemed to understand my prowess and my yearn to be free and adventurist. I loved and still do love him for that!
My first intimate encounter occurred with Kevin the night before I left Atlanta. Wow! Three years of knowing Kevin and I had no clue that sex would be as great as it was under the circumstances we were in. The hopes of getting caught and not getting loud was also a huge factor for Kevin and I and it made it a bit more animalistic! Three and a half years go by and I come back and tried too many times to have what “we” wanted; a hot passionate steamy sex life. Not to be! Kevin is much younger than I and has major issues. Issues that I had no clue about! Let me back up and say this before I go further. I do not believe that a man/woman should have sex with anyone if they have physical, mental or emotional issues that will prevent them from performing decently in a sexual capacity. And yes Kevin had these issues. It was so hard for me to address Kevin as to why he could not maintain an erection, why he kept trying over and over and over again to get one and yet make himself look bad and on my end grow increasingly tired of his issue. I no longer wanted to be with Kevin in this way any longer. What was the point? So After a few, which are a lot to me. Kevin and I are and will be only friends like we were before the sex.
When I left for a five week personal and business trip in California I could not lay down with Kevin and be intimate with him in anyway because I knew that I would be disappointed. When we finally got to the meat and bones of his issue Kevin told me that when he was under emotional and mental distress it effected him sexually and his performance and he could not maintain an erection. So my question was or is, “Why keep having or wanting sex with me?” To keep me frustrated and agitated? I assume that was the reason! So now it made sense to me! Kevin did not have sex at my parties because he was inadequate in the bedroom! Though he told me long ago it was him just coming to support me. He wasn't about that life. Now fast forward. Kevin told me that he would love to go to some parties with me. Really? A man that has feelings for a woman wants to see her get done by another man? Will I test this theory? Of course I will! Kevin has been wanting to have sex with me since I got back, and I don't have the kind of insurance! I mean lets give it a break! You are still under duress and saying you're not (Kevin) and what will be the excuse this time. So in the new year we will adventure out into the world and see what happens. I bet you this much! He will not enjoy himself! How can a man of his situation do so? So be on the look out! Because the sexapades of the rich, famous and not so famous of swingers will begin! Rather I go just to hang out or rather I participate! There are a lot of Erotic City stories to be told!
To be continued soon!...
Sunday, November 18, 2012
EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE THIRTEEN
I haven't lived in California for five years, well excluding a year. But on my visit back of 2012 I had found out some interesting things of people who were very close to me. The ironic thing was that these "people" I would have not guessed were in the swinger lifestyle. One of these people I had an off and on again relationship with for over ten years. Of course this rapport we had was nothing serious, far from love it was purely sexual. And not having see "David" in over fifteen years. I had learned that he had divorced his wife and also was a grandfather. David was now in a committed relationship with someone whom he stated that he loved. In fact when I touched back down In Cali he was the first person that had come to see me. And as we stood out and spoke he told me that he was a swinger! That his resent girlfriend was bi-sexual and that he was loyal to her. Now let me say this as I have said in previous articles that there are rules and regulations that couples set for each other. And David had made sure that he stood true to these rules in his relationship. Which I actually found so interesting. Let me stop and say this so that you can have some more history about the rapport that he and I had. One was that in knowing David for all these years David kept a lot from me. I would think that after knowing someone for a long time that one could be forthright with me. This of course was not how David lived, this creed or code did not exsist. Here we were in a very personal understanding and David had four children in the course of us seeing one another and he got married. David also was not faithful to his wife. I had found out that he was married when I received a text message some years ago from his wife asking me who I was! For those of you who know about two-way pagers. This was a new trend that everybody had gotten into. And though at this time I had not seen David in about five or six years. When I had seen him of course he not once mentioned he was married. Again I seemed to not be given any respect about his personal intimate life. The children, the marriage none of it! So it came to me by surprise that when we had seen each other in the many years that had passed he was now a faithful man in a committed relationship.
David had asked me if I we could "hook up" Well now being older and having things in a different perspective. I declined, he was in a relationship that he cherished and apparently in love. David told me that if he had sex with another woman he would prefer that it would be in a swinger type situation and that his present girlfriend "Megan" be there. Or option two was that it could be more of an intimate setting that included himself, Megan, myself and another man if I wanted. David told me that he didn't "cheat" on Megan and that of he did it in front of her. David stated that if he wanted to have sex with another woman he had to ask Megan. Stating that she didn't mind, but it still bothered her if he had sex with another woman. It was a jealousy for her I assume and only can assume that she was not apart of David being with another woman. When David and Megan went on their swinging episodes Megan only did females and was not interested in other men.
David kept pushing the issue of us being together in a menage a troi and I had refused. Now the reason I had did so was because I had no interest on his girlfriend at all! David? Well yes that's another story. Apparently if we had been lovers for years I wholly enjoyed Davis as a lover.
Now let us get into the juicy part of this story. "Missy" is a woman that I have been knowing forever it seems. A woman who is very open with her sexuality. She likes women as much as she likes men and very vocal to whomever will listen about how kinky and eccentric she is. Now due in part that I take the time out to write said episodes of Erotic Cities. I am not one to sit in a group of men nor women and express how eccentric I am with no one unless asked or there is some open forum. I don't find the need to broadcast it nor show any toys, literature, lingerie or speak on any of my exploits. Not the case with Missy. She needs the validation, the attention and she wants to be the center of any and everywhere she can. Have you ever had anyone in your life that looks up to you so much that if you said jump they would say how high? Well this is who Missy was. She was like my slave or servant if you will. No I did not make her that way and that was not my purpose for her. That is how she put herself in my life. A bit agitating for me because of me being a free spirit and don't like to be smothered by ANYONE! You must be secure in the love and trust for me to be with me. So imagine my angst when I had Missy calling or texting me on my visit when I was not in her presence ALL the time. But where or whatever I wanted to go or do Missy was down just so that she could be around me. So now that you have background on her, I can move deeper into the story.
I had of course told Missy all of what was going on with David. She of course was a best friend of mine. Of course she took my side that I would not place my self in the situation of being with David she agreed with me stating, "No I wouldn't do it either! How does he tell you the only way he can sleep with you is of you sleep with him is you should have sex with his girlfriend." We agreed. Of course she would agree with me because that is who she was. Now when I propositioned her with being with him, she said, "Well whatever you want to do I will do it with you." There you have it! If I could have sex with David and asked her to join she was down. Missy was so subservient that she would do anything to see me have sex with another man and be with me sexually as well. I have known for years that Missy wanted me that way. Let me stress this, which is slightly scary. She was the single black female. She mimicked me and as much as she could and that bothered me. You ask why do I continue to deal with her. I scoff at this and tell you the reason why is because for one we live in different states and I don't have to deal with her as much. And that we also have thirty plus years of knowing one another.
David had text me and told me that there was a swinger party going on. And of course I wanted to go just so that I could bring you this story! Nooot! Truth is I wanted some excitement and hadn't had any of this sort of play in a long time. So I had agreed. Now I had told David about Missy as well, how kinky she was and down and that if he wanted her he could have he he could. I had even taken pics of Missy's nipples that were pierced and sent them to him. Being a breast man I am sure that David was excited and anxious at the same time. David and Megan could have her! And of course I would watch! I swear I would because not only was I an exhibitionist in this arena. I was also a voyeur of sorts.
So we are now at the swingers event, and I will admit that we Missy and I were very impressed. First and foremost the event was in a very should I say a place I would not visit or venture to in Los Angeles. But the set up was hot! And this house was dedicated to catering to these type of events only! The owner of the house had it decorated very posh I must admit. There was security at the front, and when you walked in the door past security you met up with the cashier. It was like actually walking into a dance club. You received a stamp on your hand. And on her counter there was a bowl that had condoms of all sorts inside of it. Music was blasting, not a great mix at all. It didn't set the mood for this type of event. There were a sleuth of men and not enough women. There was puff puff past of joints and blunts that had permeated through the air outside. And these men were sitting on the bench. There was as bar, and next to the bar there were bar tables and bar chairs along the walls of the backyard and patio which was all paved and very neat and clean . There was also a stage and a stripper pole with mirrors behind the performer. The female stripper they had hired didn't impress me or Missy at all! In fact she had performed twice and not get any tips!
I had seen David and we hugged and kissed each other. Introductions were made. And now I could see his girlfriend up close and personal. The picture he had sent me via text did not do her justice. However the size and girth of her body mass was not something I wanted or was attracted to. In fact I am not bi-curious, bi-sexual in anyway and I am not attracted so much to women where I crave to sleep with them. My preference is men and men only! Not that I hadn't been with a woman sexually I just didn't crave them and go back and forth as Missy did.
We were giving a tour of the house and it's many rooms. The one room that I loved the most was a queen size bed that was suspended by chains coming from the ceiling. A bed swing! And there was also a chair in the room too that was made the same identical way. There was a room for oral only and a couples room only. There was porn being played on every flat screen TV and monitor all throughout the house. Something I didn't quite care for at any swinger party. I feel we all know why we are here, so why do we have to show porn? It's not in good taste in my opinion. For me there is an discomfort level that feels forced upon it's participants. And again this is my opinion only!
We had found a table outside and of course got a feel of the people that were there. The sad thing about going to swinging venues there are always people that you don't find attractive and would never ever sleep with at all! This of course is a huge turn off to me. I am not the perfect body nor shape. But come on!! There was the host that had tried to solicit Missy and I to sleep with her if we had asked. She had to be six feet or close to it. She had to be three hundred plus and she was an admitted bi-sexual woman and a cougar. She admitted that she loved young guys who were in their early twenties and that it was these young men that were well hung and gave her a run for her money. I was quite disgusted that anyone would lie down with her. She was sloppy and unattractive in my eyes. But they say there is someone for everyone, and yes it is! The thing about swinging is that there will always be people there of course that you will wish they were not there. And some that are bottom line perverts. However the one thing that all swinger clubs have is the rule of watching and not participating. Sounds crazy right? It is the private rooms that voyeurs are not allowed to go into and watch the couples have sex and not participate.
Now what had turned me so off about this gathering of sexual and social misfits was that their were too many young people in attendance. Now the fact that I am a grown woman with grown children that are past teenagers I do not want to have sex with any man that is younger than my children. There were young boys there that were nineteen and eighteen years old! And while this may have been beautiful for the host who gleefully stated that she was a cougar and proud of it. This was not for me or Missy. In fact when all the "babies" had talked to me I would ask them how old they were, I would scoff and laugh letting them know that I wasn't interested in trolling in the pool of molesting young boys that yes were of age. I was good and so were a lot of the guest that were at the function. No one wanted to have sex nor put on a show for some young boys!
Now David had hot on Missy a few time asking could he see her pierced nipples and even suckle, Missy had politely turned him down. Only because she knew I didn't want to have sex with him and his girlfriend. Well I will tell you this much that David could have had me if he would have had no girlfriend and he didn't want me to sleep with her. This party was a serious drag and I wasn't trying attracted to anyone there. But of course I had a few men and young boys that were acting as if I was the last meal and if they could just sit down and have dinner with me everything would be great! So we left! But the adventure does not stop here. The private threesome party .....
Missy I could tell was yearning for me in more ways than I can express. So Missy had decided to have her own swingers party at her home. And this is a home that was not hers at all! This home that she had been living in for the past nine years belonged to her boyfriends mother. Well let's be clear the boyfriend that I will call "Mike" is no longer a boyfriend but an ex because they have not have had sex or slept in the same room for over a year. Are you still paying attention? I do hope so. So the invite went out because Missy wanted this private party. I was okay with her having the private party I just wasn't happy with the current situation and the blatant disrespect for a man that was sweet as pie literally! So the invites went out by phone and so now Missy was going to "share" the man that she had been having an affair with for the past few months into her home who by the way had no ides he was being invited to a private swinging party. He was under the assumption that he was coming to see Missy. The rest of the guest knew what was going on though.
I was not feeling this situation with "sharing" of the man she wanted "us" to have. I said nothing to Missy about this, I kept my mouth shut. Just because she felt that the sex between them was wonderful and they had a connection did not mean we would have one. And that is what swingers do they pick the person they feeeeel they have a connection with. So when "Mark" came over I wasn't feeling him at allll! Not to say that he was not attractive man, i just didn't see what Missy saw in him. As the other guest arrived I wasn't feeling them at all. But I waited as three other guest had began to file in. All ready for some fantabulous freaky afternoon! Ne ow one thing I had noticed was that unlike me these people were greedy and anxious to have sex!! It didn't matter who it was with they just wanted to do it. For me it is all about the art of seduction and seducing my prey. To kick back and not be so hard up. Though yes as crazy as it may sound you do want to experience that high that sex gives us all. But when you are to anxious and hungry it shows and for me it is a turn off. So instantly I knew that Mark was ready to devour me.
After we all had lunch that was prepared by Missy. There were no drinks involved no popping of pills as some do when they come to these sort of gatherings. No liquor, no marijuana. We were not influenced by anything just flesh. And the men that were there seemed as if they were drooling and the women were just as hot as Missy was. I was now repulsed. My whole idea of lust and sexual freedom was now on the shelf. The variety of men and women had ruined my appetite!
Missy didn't wait she instantly had began to give Mark oral and he was very shocked when she had done this in front of everyone. But of course he didn't stop her! As she pulled waved for me to come over I had refused and had pulled the two other women over to Missy so that they could touch, kiss, lick and watch. I watched as the need for attention and sexual validation had begun. For me it was like being out of body and not in as good way!
As Missy was working on Mark he seemed to be enjoying the sight and feel of hands all over him. The two women had began to work on each other while the other man had watched and had bid me to come over to him. I ignored him, I just wasn't feeling the scene and why did I not say anything because Missy was so anxious in having this wild sexual party. Because I ignored the man he had now went over to the two women and had joined in. Moans and sighs of pleasure had filled the living room. And when it had gotten further into the crust of things. I noticed no one had used protection! Disgusted ...
The sexual buzz and high was permeating through the room. I felt the buzz, enjoyed the buzz and loved the noises. But not the people...
Well Until next time...yes this article is over.. but umm stay tuned for part fourteen!
Toy High
Friday, February 17, 2012
SPEAK ON IT!!! (NEW SERIES REAL TALK BLOG)
HAVING A BABY AND BEING A SINGLE PARENT AT ANY AGE IS HOT AND CUTE!!! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW!!!
Okay, let me ask you this….when was the last time you saw an ad campaign encouraging teenagers to protect themselves from being an unwed mom? Don’t worry I’ll wait..(Jeopardy music in the background) Okay times up!! You haven’t …hmmm wonder why? Well I will give you my opinion and my opinion only. Why in the world do we need any? Why do we need anyone or any non-profit organization, OB-Gyn doctors telling young girls not to have unprotected sex and bring babies in this world? Well, (excuse me while I sip from my truth cup…ahhhh feels good) Because there is no longer such a thing as role models. And if there are not any reasons to believe in them why have them? And long gone are the days of just teenagers having babies unwed but adult women! …hmmm..
Now I can run a loooong list of actors, singers, rappers, actresses and actors that have had babies out of wedlock. Marriage is the last thing that anyone seems to want. (let me back up and not catergorize-some) And the hippest trip in America is if you want a baby you to can be a baby daddy or mommy! Awwww how cute and hot is that? Very hot. Solange Knowles, Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Courtney Kardashian (and she is pregnant with her second child) I can go on and on and on at how so many women have had babies and not married. Now hold up! These are not young girls or teenagers! No, no, no, no! These are young women and young ladies! When I pulled and looked up statistics a lot of WOMEN were in their forties! Hmmm…and some were in their thirties and late twenties! And also all the many many reality TV shows that have women who have children and were never married and are busting babies out like hit records!! Uh jeesh the irony f it all!
Long gone are the days of morals and doing things in good taste. I know that we have stretched this each year and each decade. However it is more common to shack up, to have babies and not wait until you marry. It is also common for women to raise children by themselves. And this one is a new yet oldie at the same time. Men are now raising their children because the mothers who had the babies don’t want to be bothered anymore. Rather that is due to drug abuse, running around and hanging out, new boyfriend or whatever. (hitting the top of microphone) Is this thing on? I am just saying are some of these (young and older) recognizing that you have to raise and take care of children? I guess not. That children are a responsibility and once you have children you can’t give them back? Or can you? Oh yeah you can, to the fathers that step up to the plate. Oh and grandmothers!! Yeah they work real well. And if you have money give them to the nannies to raise! Yeah that’s a good one!
Oh and the many men who are pro-ballers, singers who know that a woman will be open to lay up and have un-protective sex just so that she can have the grand and wonderful opportunity of getting pregnant. Eddie Murphy, Jamie Foxx, Mel Gibson, Brad Pitt, Sean Combs, Robert Deniro. And again this list is super long. Is there any damn justice here? I mean really? How can a mother or father for that matter tell their child how important it is NOT to have children when they are just a child themselves or that it is better to have children after you have finished college and settle down and get married. And hold on! I am not saying that marriage is indefinite or anything of that nature. And that it will make the mom and dad stay together to raise the child! It just gives you some damn dignity!
I am no angel here, far from it. I had two children out of wedlock. But I cut the cord, the cycle and I cut the disease at the root with my children! I will not go into how I did this. However, I am not a grandmother and proud to say it! My daughters are in their mid twenties and there has not been any mishaps. They are single, live your life! Were you not in the same house I was in and did you see mommies struggles with you and how my marriage broke up and he didn’t hold his end up? I am in my mid forties and I made my mother a granny grandmother when she was forty-one. Not cool, hot or sexy about a woman being in her prime and being a grandmother. I now of women that are grandmothers in their thirties because they were having babies at thirteen and fourteen! Was I given the talk? Sure I was! But I was not given any tools! No birth control, no trips to a doctor to discuss it and no brochures or books. My mother said, “Don’t do it!”
How do we stop abortions? How do we stop women from having babies and condoning being a baby mom or baby dad? How do we cry out to the world that using protection is not just preventing one from getting AIDS or STD’s? Because that seems to be the only way we have been seeing campaigns on having protective sex. And guess what? Those ads have dwindled down along with commercials. Maybe in countries where millions and millions of people are dying and the AIDS rate is at an astronomical high.
The top twenty-five cities and states that have aids in our great US of A….
1 Miami, FL 37.2 64,573
2 Baton Rouge, LA 30.6 4,565
3 Jacksonville, FL 29.1 7,292
4 New York, NY-NJ-PA 27 223,508
5 Washington, DC-VA-MD-WV 26.6 37,916
6 Columbia, SC 23.5 3,949
7 Memphis, TN-MS-AR 23.3 6,018
8 Orlando, FL 23.3 10,457
9 New Orleans-Metairie-Kenner, LA 23 9,941
10 Baltimore-Towson, MD 22.8 23,875
11 Jackson, MS 22.2 2,881
12 San Juan-Caguas-Guaynabo, PR 20 24,126
13 Lakeland, FL 18.9 2,210
14 Atlanta-Sandy Springs-Marietta, GA 18.7 27,313
15 San Francisco, CA 18.3 44,422
16 Tampa-St Petersburg-Clearwater, FL 17.4 13,135
17 San Antonio, TX 12.3 5,892 San Diego-Carlsbad-San Marcos, CA 16 14,723
18 Charlotte-Gastonia-Concord, NC-SC 15.7 4,123
19 Houston-Baytown-Sugar Land, TX 15.1 29,556
20 Charleston-North Charleston, SC 14.4 2,423
21 Raleigh-Cary, NC 14.3 2,632
22 Nashville-Davidson-Murfreesboro, TN 13.7 4,570
23 Fresno, CA 13.5 1,829
24 Cape Coral-Fort Myers, FL 13.2 2,034
25 Columbus, OH 12.9 3,966
Now apparently it is not worth a lot (not all) teenagers, young ladies, or women have protected sex if they are trying to hook a man, or “just want a baby because now I feel it’s time” Let me ask you does any STD or AIDS virus discriminate? Take your time to answer that one, don’t worry I’ll wait!...(Jeopardy music playing….buzzer goes off!) Times up! The answer is no! So I’m asking, rich, famous, middle-class, poor and barley making it don’t cha know get STD’S and AIDS! Are you kidding me? Woooow I didn’t know this information! So you mean to tell me it is okay, it is hot to get the dropsies and drop it like it’s hot and let it down low? What are we promoting here?
Picture this, can you please? Let’s do a beautiful and wonderful spread in a fashion slash entertainment magazine. There are seven women, dressed to the nines in designer clothes and shoes make-up is flawless. And all seven of these women are just smiling and gushing with pride because they just had their babies. Below their group pic it says, “Being a single mom at any age is hot and a beautiful thing to do” Can you picture that? Close your eyes come on and envision some of the stars and celebs that have had babies. We should get them all together and do it! Just like Nike! Do it!
Let me tell you something from the bottom of my closed womb. (laughing out loud) I don’t and never have condoned my being pregnant and single. Meaning my first child at nineteen and my second at twenty and I got married three moths after my second was born. Never once glorified any celebrity of any sort having a baby out of wedlock. Yes it is your choice, your body, your decision. Of course it is! But you cannot reach and teach the masses of young people who do look up to you not to do something and you turn around and do it. Can an alcoholic or drug addict say to someone don’t do this and are high or drunk? I have spoken to many, and of course not all have gone down that path. But their parents said don’t get high while they were high, don’t drink, don’t get any girl pregnant, don’t come home pregnant to their daughters. Don’t have sex, protect yourself, and guess what? From my statistics 70% have done what they were shown and told not to do….
I don’t watch too much TV, but I noticed that Trojan has a commercial campaign for lovers now. Some new lubricated gel that blows your wig back for men and women to get you extra wet and extra sensations for the man and the woman while having sex! This gel is the B-all end! Not once does it say be sure to use a condom, nope. Not once does it say for adults only..nope… It just says if you wana ride and ride right this is a must have like those shoes you have been wanting!! Aha! So get it, try, do it and enjoy! I am not throwing daggers at the commercial. I am sure, well nooo I can’t be sure. But I assume it is a wonderful product but where is the sense of responsibility here?
While teenage pregnancy has decreased it is still prominent in our world. These are the top ten cities and states that have the highest teen pregnancy rate. I am glad that it has decreased.
1. Nevada (113)
2. Arizona (104)
3. Mississippi (103)
4. New Mexico (103)
5. Texas (101)
6. Florida (97)
7. California (96)
8. Georgia (95)
9. North Carolina (95)
10. Arkansas (93)
However I am sad that women who are in the public eye are having babies to get “paid” (some not all) and the image it gives. But then again maybe as a collective whole we are noo longer concerned what society thinks anymore. That is another story. So mothers and fathers how can you teach your children not to have babies when they see child custody orders, child support cases, many celebrities having babies? We just hope that the few that are listening can pass it on. Because right now it’s reaaal hot to have a baby and not be married at any age.. I’m just saying….
Toy High
Writer/author
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com
justtoywrittenexpressions@yahoo.com
Saturday, October 29, 2011
EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE EPISODE THE DIRTY-DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE 12
I do apologize for the lateness in episode twelve. I seem to have my hands in so much with writing and so much more. However when we last met up I was speaking on Officer Dix who had actually taken a woman into a life that she knew nothing about and now she is full fledged into a world that I am sure she didn't think of coming into.
For some people that get into the erotic side of life to me or tortured in some way or another. Now I am not saying that if you like having sex you have an issue. But some people think being urinated on, defecated on, tying someone up and beating them, wearing women s clothing and prostituting (men) there is nothing wrong with it. But when you have men that say they are heterosexual and are not and have some eerie ways about them and people who love sex are literally down-low sexual deviants. There is some cause for a person to be a little leery.
I am now going to tell a story of a woman who has now left Atlanta and moved to Los Angeles. She lived in California and had a very non-committed relationship with her husband whom in my opinion she should have never married. However I knew there was a curiosity in being with women. So at the time of her living in Cali she was considered bi-curious. I was not attracted to her in that way to want to sleep with her. She was a very good friend of mine. But her nose was open from being around me and others who at that time associated with lesbians. I still at this present time in my life may judge and may not judge of what flavors people like and dislike when it comes to sex or a partner. For I am not the ultimate judge of character. But I can agree to disagree. However in my life I have had and known people of many walks and what they do and don't do behind close doors at the end of the day is not my business and does not make me say “ I cannot longer befriend you because you do things sexually that I don't do” no! I am merely stating that what people do and don't do doesn't bother me unless it effects me personally.
I shall call this woman “Sheila” Sheila was caught up mentally and emotionally with the travails of her marriage that she had decided to make a move to Atlanta and she lived there for eight years. And this is where the sexual beast in her came out! Sheila was now more of a party animal than ever. She attended swinger parties that were held on the outskirts of Atlanta and come to find out that a close friend of hers that she had been knowing for years was bi. Not only was she bi, but her husband was also into swinging. Thus began the intimate affair of Sheila, her best friend and husband in many threesomes and swinger parties. Sheila got so wrapped up in this lifestyle that she found men in bars and clubs that she wanted to experience many sexual escapades with. One in particular was with her boyfriend at the time. They went into a club and Sheila picked up a man and brought him home to have sex with while her boyfriend hid in the closet and watched. This later on became a problem for him because he later on began to stalk her and threaten her physically, verbally and emotionally because of her open affairs and swinging lifestyle. Swinging can be a dangerous game! I have met men and women who were so deep in this game with drugs and open sex that jealousy reared its ugly head and drugs took a toll on their bodies.
Imagine if you are a man and you have had sex with so many women that you cannot obtain a hard-on! I have witnessed some men who wanted a woman so bad and couldn't get it up and their frustration turned into rage! Constantly pulling at their private to MAKE it get hard by wating others have sex. And to no avail they stay flaccid.
By the time that Sheila had left Atlanta not because she wanted to but because she had to for a certain family member that needed help. She was so open that she destroyed relationships with very close people because there were no boundaries for her. You cannot expect all of the people you know for years in your life to be open-minded to the choices that you make. When Sheila had come on to me we were coming from a friends home she went to school with. She wanted me to go to her house first before dropping me off to my home. Can a woman rape a woman? To this day I am not quite sure of that. But I do know that I was placed in a very precarious situation with her. Why did I need to come to her house when she would be passing up my home to get to hers? With her child in the backseat Sheila was driving and had reached over and put her hand down my top! I had been knowing Sheila since we were kids and for me this was a shock and she was hurting me by pinching on my breast so hard. I looked over at her and removed her hand and told her that it wasn't nice to do that especially having her child in the backseat who was wide awake! She stopped and I told her to take me home. She didn't, she drove to her home. When she got out of the car, I sat there and told her I would wait for her. She bid me to come in saying that it would not take long, she wanted to smoke a joint. I figured she was doing this to get some courage. So while she put her child to bed because it was late, she had poured a drink and had rolled a joint. I refused both, I was tired, edgy and my heart was beating fast because I was not comfortable. One drink ended very quickly and a second drink was poured. She kept offering and I kept refusing. Let me pause here, I have been around men who have done this very thing to me before and I was nervous and scared. Being a victim of rape and molestation you can feel the evil of a set up. And to me this was indeed a set up. I had mentioned to Sheila that if she kept drinking she would not be able to drive me home. Which I might add was no more than fifteen minutes away from where she lived. And just like that as she got up from the couch and went into her bathroom and came out she was all over me! Sheila is not a small woman at all! She was groping me and trying to get my clothes off as I tried to resist her, her weight and force were beginning to wear me down. Once she got the picture that I didn't want to be intimate with her in no way whatsoever her feelings were hurt! And because of this incident we are no longer friends. Twenty years plus of a friendship ruined! See the oxymoron thing about being bi, open sexually or swinging does not mean that you wantto be that way with everyone in that journey. For some that do, that sleep with any and everyone and not because of sexual attraction there has to be something psychologically wrong with them. Would one want to sleep with an unkempt man or woman who sleeps in alleys just to have sex? I think not. Of course I am not speaking of someone addicted to drugs, that is a whole other story.
We are who we are and experience things that we want to because there are thoughts that have been implanted by others, what we have seen, read and what has happened to us in our past lives. I can honestly say that being raped an molested opened up the doors for me being highly sexual. I didn't take the I am scared of men and don't want to have sex side. No I ran to any and every man that would have me! (within reason no bums or addicts or men who were not attractive sexaully) Which now brings me to the many down-low men in Atlanta. Though I have spoken many times on this subject in the Erotic Cities Episodes I can't say it enough. Because of this sexual liberation which is no longer kept in the closet by America. I feel it is unfair to those who are heterosexual (women) and they meet a man who they think are heterosexual as well and they have strong desires to be with men as well. And in the erotic city you have many women who know that their husbands or partners are bi-sexual and they live out these fantasies in threesomes and bi-sexual orgies so that they can keep their man. Is this erotic? Or is this now a sickness? Or is this some seedy event that has happened in the past of someone that because they maybe were molested or raped by a man that they now have sexual desires to be with men? Or were they feeling men and women ever since they were adolescent? Many questions right?
This now brings me to “Donald” a man who I can say was all man and loved women and was a strong man inside and out. Nothing about him told me that he could be with a man in any way whatsoever, but some of the things that Donald requested or was turned on by led me to believe that there was some moment in his past that he had experienced a man sexually, and this bothered me because he was not being truthful. Needless to say that we ended our affair. Maybe I had turned Donald out sexually where he felt he could open up to some “new adventures” with me. But wearing a strapped phallus was not a desire of mine, I on no way wanted to have anal sex with him, that is me doing him!
Well my time is up again! And next we will venture a little into Holly weird. But will the adventures be as wild as Atlanta? Stay tuned for episode 13!
Toy High
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com
For some people that get into the erotic side of life to me or tortured in some way or another. Now I am not saying that if you like having sex you have an issue. But some people think being urinated on, defecated on, tying someone up and beating them, wearing women s clothing and prostituting (men) there is nothing wrong with it. But when you have men that say they are heterosexual and are not and have some eerie ways about them and people who love sex are literally down-low sexual deviants. There is some cause for a person to be a little leery.
I am now going to tell a story of a woman who has now left Atlanta and moved to Los Angeles. She lived in California and had a very non-committed relationship with her husband whom in my opinion she should have never married. However I knew there was a curiosity in being with women. So at the time of her living in Cali she was considered bi-curious. I was not attracted to her in that way to want to sleep with her. She was a very good friend of mine. But her nose was open from being around me and others who at that time associated with lesbians. I still at this present time in my life may judge and may not judge of what flavors people like and dislike when it comes to sex or a partner. For I am not the ultimate judge of character. But I can agree to disagree. However in my life I have had and known people of many walks and what they do and don't do behind close doors at the end of the day is not my business and does not make me say “ I cannot longer befriend you because you do things sexually that I don't do” no! I am merely stating that what people do and don't do doesn't bother me unless it effects me personally.
I shall call this woman “Sheila” Sheila was caught up mentally and emotionally with the travails of her marriage that she had decided to make a move to Atlanta and she lived there for eight years. And this is where the sexual beast in her came out! Sheila was now more of a party animal than ever. She attended swinger parties that were held on the outskirts of Atlanta and come to find out that a close friend of hers that she had been knowing for years was bi. Not only was she bi, but her husband was also into swinging. Thus began the intimate affair of Sheila, her best friend and husband in many threesomes and swinger parties. Sheila got so wrapped up in this lifestyle that she found men in bars and clubs that she wanted to experience many sexual escapades with. One in particular was with her boyfriend at the time. They went into a club and Sheila picked up a man and brought him home to have sex with while her boyfriend hid in the closet and watched. This later on became a problem for him because he later on began to stalk her and threaten her physically, verbally and emotionally because of her open affairs and swinging lifestyle. Swinging can be a dangerous game! I have met men and women who were so deep in this game with drugs and open sex that jealousy reared its ugly head and drugs took a toll on their bodies.
Imagine if you are a man and you have had sex with so many women that you cannot obtain a hard-on! I have witnessed some men who wanted a woman so bad and couldn't get it up and their frustration turned into rage! Constantly pulling at their private to MAKE it get hard by wating others have sex. And to no avail they stay flaccid.
By the time that Sheila had left Atlanta not because she wanted to but because she had to for a certain family member that needed help. She was so open that she destroyed relationships with very close people because there were no boundaries for her. You cannot expect all of the people you know for years in your life to be open-minded to the choices that you make. When Sheila had come on to me we were coming from a friends home she went to school with. She wanted me to go to her house first before dropping me off to my home. Can a woman rape a woman? To this day I am not quite sure of that. But I do know that I was placed in a very precarious situation with her. Why did I need to come to her house when she would be passing up my home to get to hers? With her child in the backseat Sheila was driving and had reached over and put her hand down my top! I had been knowing Sheila since we were kids and for me this was a shock and she was hurting me by pinching on my breast so hard. I looked over at her and removed her hand and told her that it wasn't nice to do that especially having her child in the backseat who was wide awake! She stopped and I told her to take me home. She didn't, she drove to her home. When she got out of the car, I sat there and told her I would wait for her. She bid me to come in saying that it would not take long, she wanted to smoke a joint. I figured she was doing this to get some courage. So while she put her child to bed because it was late, she had poured a drink and had rolled a joint. I refused both, I was tired, edgy and my heart was beating fast because I was not comfortable. One drink ended very quickly and a second drink was poured. She kept offering and I kept refusing. Let me pause here, I have been around men who have done this very thing to me before and I was nervous and scared. Being a victim of rape and molestation you can feel the evil of a set up. And to me this was indeed a set up. I had mentioned to Sheila that if she kept drinking she would not be able to drive me home. Which I might add was no more than fifteen minutes away from where she lived. And just like that as she got up from the couch and went into her bathroom and came out she was all over me! Sheila is not a small woman at all! She was groping me and trying to get my clothes off as I tried to resist her, her weight and force were beginning to wear me down. Once she got the picture that I didn't want to be intimate with her in no way whatsoever her feelings were hurt! And because of this incident we are no longer friends. Twenty years plus of a friendship ruined! See the oxymoron thing about being bi, open sexually or swinging does not mean that you wantto be that way with everyone in that journey. For some that do, that sleep with any and everyone and not because of sexual attraction there has to be something psychologically wrong with them. Would one want to sleep with an unkempt man or woman who sleeps in alleys just to have sex? I think not. Of course I am not speaking of someone addicted to drugs, that is a whole other story.
We are who we are and experience things that we want to because there are thoughts that have been implanted by others, what we have seen, read and what has happened to us in our past lives. I can honestly say that being raped an molested opened up the doors for me being highly sexual. I didn't take the I am scared of men and don't want to have sex side. No I ran to any and every man that would have me! (within reason no bums or addicts or men who were not attractive sexaully) Which now brings me to the many down-low men in Atlanta. Though I have spoken many times on this subject in the Erotic Cities Episodes I can't say it enough. Because of this sexual liberation which is no longer kept in the closet by America. I feel it is unfair to those who are heterosexual (women) and they meet a man who they think are heterosexual as well and they have strong desires to be with men as well. And in the erotic city you have many women who know that their husbands or partners are bi-sexual and they live out these fantasies in threesomes and bi-sexual orgies so that they can keep their man. Is this erotic? Or is this now a sickness? Or is this some seedy event that has happened in the past of someone that because they maybe were molested or raped by a man that they now have sexual desires to be with men? Or were they feeling men and women ever since they were adolescent? Many questions right?
This now brings me to “Donald” a man who I can say was all man and loved women and was a strong man inside and out. Nothing about him told me that he could be with a man in any way whatsoever, but some of the things that Donald requested or was turned on by led me to believe that there was some moment in his past that he had experienced a man sexually, and this bothered me because he was not being truthful. Needless to say that we ended our affair. Maybe I had turned Donald out sexually where he felt he could open up to some “new adventures” with me. But wearing a strapped phallus was not a desire of mine, I on no way wanted to have anal sex with him, that is me doing him!
Well my time is up again! And next we will venture a little into Holly weird. But will the adventures be as wild as Atlanta? Stay tuned for episode 13!
Toy High
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE 11
In the last episode (ten) I left off speaking of Will, a man of oddity to most as well as myself. However you must understand this. I drew people to me like moths to flames and bees to honey and my persona is still of such that I draw people to me. And Will felt that it was safe and also felt very comfortable with telling me his inner secrets and about the demons that tortured him on a daily basis. For most people even those who stepped out of the box sexually thought that Will was a “freak” I had my own ideas of him, but I tried not to judge Will.
When Will Grabbed his Janis backpack he had placed inside it condoms, and a contraption to make ones penis big and hard. I had seen these penis pumps before but I had never ever met anyone who had actually used them. I thought this was for the men who really had a small penis and for men who were in the porn industry. When they had to prepare themselves for a scene and couldn’t get it up. I don’t know, cock ring yes, penis pump no!
I asked Will why did he feel the need to use it. His response was that he had used it before he had performed his male exotic shows. And that to me set off an alarm! He was not “performing” these shows as he use to. And so now this device had become addictive to him and was the only way that he could achieve an erection. Shaking my head at this, our union was not a successful one at all! And for me was not worth my time or his! Though I cannot say that he was nervous or intimidated I would say that Will was a man that I knew in my heart of hearts was majorly dysfunctional in many ways, and I will tell you why.
Will and I did not continue our “friendship” because of his sexual dysfunction or some of his sick fantasies but because of his attitude negative attitude. But I am moving too fast in the story.
Will had began to tell me some of his deep seeded issues as time went along. One was that he loved his music and he made a very nice living off of it, producing music for commercials, movies and websites. I was astonished at some of the music he made and quite impressed. From world music, classical, jazz he produced it all.
Will was heavy into church and played drums he spoke of how important it was to meet a woman who loved God and put him first while Will smoked and drank heavily and used other drugs. Will had also told me that he needed a woman who was very open sexually and met his needs when it came to sex. Such as swinging, ménage a trios’, and the big one that had taken me for a real loop was he wanted a woman to put a strap on and give him anal sex and he said he was not gay! I seriously questioned this matter, why would a straight man let a woman pretend to be a man and have “fake” anal sex with him? Had he had it with a man before? Or had he had a woman perform this to him many times before? I was confused as he was and I didn’t ask! It seemed that Will had wanted a lot of sexual favors and also wanted to experience a lot of things but was not heavy into a lot of things. Very oxymoron if I say so myself! Now before I say this, I do NOT want any emails whatsoever sent to me. But there have been some men that have told me a lot of strange things go on behind close doors with frat brothers. That is not to say that all men who join fraternities are gay, bi-sexual or down-low! But some stories I have heard in regards to this alerted me to men who join fraternities and some of the things they do to get in them and be apart of them. I mean we can say that when men/women go to college they experience a lot of things (sexually) that they didn’t do or knew about until they went away to school. And the funny thing about all of this was his frat brother whom he was very close to and would do ANYTHING for and came over to his house on a regular. It wasn’t to me anything that got me, they shared women, money, sex and whatever else and his best frat brother was married!
Will got stranger and stranger by the moment. It was his constant belittling of me that made me cut him off. He felt his talent was way above mine and what I did meant literally nothing! I of course didn’t want any sexual relationship with Will once I found out all his dirty secrets, for me he was a confused dysfunctional little boy! And that was my opinion but I never told him you are sick and need help! That was not my place. I mean that he was confused about his life and expected a whole lot from others and he couldn’t give that same respect at times he was too raw with his candor. It also offended many colleagues of mine when he asked them “weird” things. I could no longer take up for Will.
When I had found someone to date, it was then that Will had started coming back by. Or shall I say wanted to come by my home and it was then his jealousy and insecurity came out to play. I hadn’t talked to Will in a year and once we caught up with each other. His deep seeded fantasies and sexual prowess have increased and now he is “mad” that he can no longer find a woman to satisfy his needs.
I am sure there will be a lot of people that will agree with me that when you work in a very large office, (sometimes it really doesn’t matter) that there is a lot of flirting, sexing and many marital affairs! I have seen this in many offices but never to the echelon I had experienced in the A. As I said earlier in previous episodes of ATL office romance, cheating and drama were in full effect and the women were hard up to have a man it didn’t matter if he was married or had a live-in girlfriend or in a relationship of some sort nothing was off limits!
A married man by the name of Chad wore his wedding ring with pride and any company event he brought his wife. Chad flirted with any and every young woman to older women. As long as you were a woman! Chad had affairs with many of the women in the office. And at first when I met Chad I thought he was a very attractive man! He was training the new recruits at first until he moved over into another department. I took Chad for a very low-key guy not out and about roaming as he was. Chad was a comedian and this “9-5” was just his means to an end until he “made it big” I saw as Chad caused drama on the low and almost got caught and about to lose his job because he was doing things with fellow employees he should not be. Smoking weed, drinking, hanging out, clubbing. See once he had made it to supervisor it was told that you could no longer fraternize with the employees. This was in their handbook! After being at the job for two years I succumbed to the madness. Matter of fact Chad came to the parties I threw!!!! And had sex with one of the employees that was there!!!! Wedding ring on and all and asked me would I join the both of them!! I asked Chad why he cheated on his wife; he said “I don’t think of it as cheating. I am faithful to her” Huh? (Scratching side of my head)
There were people that had sex in their cars in front/directly in front of the office management’s window and some of the supervisors were engaging in this same way on lunch breaks in the parking lot in front of security cameras!! And I know this because they got caught and fired!!! Were people that hot? That horny where they had to have sex in the parking lot of their job not even twenty feet from the front door? Whoo! Overwhelming!!
I had met two cops in ATL and one of them I got very close with. I will refer to one as Officer B. Dix. Officer Dix was a man that was so deep and caught in the sexual world that I personally thought he may have lost sight of being a cop. I know that may not make sense but you could call him on his cell at either two jobs he had and he was ready for “pillow talk”
I had met Officer Dix at an adult party. He had brought his “new girlfriend” to the party. His girlfriend was friendly and very nice, I could also tell that she was a woman that was very very blunt and she I soon found out later was very insecure. Here was a lady in my opinion that didn’t have anything to worry about as far as looks wise and body wise. If I had her height and looks I would be galloping down a runway! “Tracy” told to me by Office Dix was that he had a lifestyle in which he was not walking away from and if she wanted to be with him she had to flow with it. Now let me first give you some background on Tracy. She had been sexually, mentally, emotionally and physically abused from her parents to her husbands and family members. These were some of the people that took advantage of her love, body, kindness and when I simply just say she had problems, No she really had problems. And she also had serious health problems!!!
Officer Dix told me that he had taken her to a couple of places, (as I told you before there were a lot of legal clubs that hosted swinger parties just as if you were going to a regular dance club) that he was having “patience” with her and that she was working on it. Now when you are sexually abused, emotionally and mentally abused a huge portion of those people have that “learned behavior syndrome” is what I call it. If you have witnessed your parents fighting a lot of times you will find yourself in the same dysfunctional relationship. Being hit, yelling, fighting; this is normal. Also for some who have been sexually abused run to sex full throttle and have a very promiscuous sex life. And so was the case with Tracy.
Tracy I could tell wanted to and didn’t want to do this at the same time. Her experience this night was having sex with another woman, well not fully. Her boyfriend and “Chuck” Can you imagine three people coming at you all at the same time? Interesting I know there have been super orgy scenes in porn but her breakout role was overwhelming! And as I was told much later on Tracy did not enjoy or was attracted to women.
Tracy a lot of times was very pensive when it came to watching Officer Dix have sex with someone else, and she enjoyed going to the parties (the ones I gave) but not the ones that were dark, gloomy and you were being stalked. At that time it was my hustle and I gave kid-adult parties with themes, games, light and laughter! You had a choice, and there was security at my gatherings when I really got started.
It was time going forth that Officer Dix seemed to push and push Tracy into more and more illicit behavior. I had a rapport with each of them (friendship only) more so with Officer Dix who at one point said he “loved” her and wanted to marry her making this his third marriage as well as hers. But the “swinging” was his carte blanche to being with other women. But he would not “cheat” on her with another woman unless she knew about it. You cannot have a relationship (my opinion) in the swinger-ism if you have an insecure girlfriend/boyfriend.
Officer Dix pursued me while I turned away and told him you love her. He wanted to be with me lots of times. I could not get involved with that mellow drama at all! Officer Dix had no idea of what he was “creating” He felt that all of this was for his needs and his needs only. As time went by more and more he wanted to attend these sex parties and more and more it was mentally and emotionally hurting Tracy. All the while he pushed the more Tracy was happy to have a man in her life that she felt “loved” her sincerely. But this was not so, he then later told her they needed, again “they” needed a girlfriend. And so it was they were now on the hunt. They found one and her real sexual experience with two women and her boyfriend at the same time she enjoyed and was now getting very close to the new “girlfriend” because they had a lot in common!
It was now that Tracy had begun to go to parties by herself without Officer Dix, and she went to these parties with the girlfriend when she came in town or hooked up with others she had met along the way. Tracy was hooked, and Officer Dix had now gotten tired of the scene he had been in for three years! You see Officer Dix was sick with cancer and did not know it as of yet so he was always tired.
As Tracy was sick with Lupus and could no longer work Officer Dix was taking care of her and had grew tired and they never got married, he wanted her to move out of his home they had together. It took her three months to move out and as soon as she did, she now was a “lesbian” and had a girlfriend and back to work. I told Officer Dix this was all his doing, his fault as he relayed the information to me about her.
Well my time is up again!!! I must go, but I will of course catch you on the 12th episode of Erotic Cities!!
Toy High
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com
When Will Grabbed his Janis backpack he had placed inside it condoms, and a contraption to make ones penis big and hard. I had seen these penis pumps before but I had never ever met anyone who had actually used them. I thought this was for the men who really had a small penis and for men who were in the porn industry. When they had to prepare themselves for a scene and couldn’t get it up. I don’t know, cock ring yes, penis pump no!
I asked Will why did he feel the need to use it. His response was that he had used it before he had performed his male exotic shows. And that to me set off an alarm! He was not “performing” these shows as he use to. And so now this device had become addictive to him and was the only way that he could achieve an erection. Shaking my head at this, our union was not a successful one at all! And for me was not worth my time or his! Though I cannot say that he was nervous or intimidated I would say that Will was a man that I knew in my heart of hearts was majorly dysfunctional in many ways, and I will tell you why.
Will and I did not continue our “friendship” because of his sexual dysfunction or some of his sick fantasies but because of his attitude negative attitude. But I am moving too fast in the story.
Will had began to tell me some of his deep seeded issues as time went along. One was that he loved his music and he made a very nice living off of it, producing music for commercials, movies and websites. I was astonished at some of the music he made and quite impressed. From world music, classical, jazz he produced it all.
Will was heavy into church and played drums he spoke of how important it was to meet a woman who loved God and put him first while Will smoked and drank heavily and used other drugs. Will had also told me that he needed a woman who was very open sexually and met his needs when it came to sex. Such as swinging, ménage a trios’, and the big one that had taken me for a real loop was he wanted a woman to put a strap on and give him anal sex and he said he was not gay! I seriously questioned this matter, why would a straight man let a woman pretend to be a man and have “fake” anal sex with him? Had he had it with a man before? Or had he had a woman perform this to him many times before? I was confused as he was and I didn’t ask! It seemed that Will had wanted a lot of sexual favors and also wanted to experience a lot of things but was not heavy into a lot of things. Very oxymoron if I say so myself! Now before I say this, I do NOT want any emails whatsoever sent to me. But there have been some men that have told me a lot of strange things go on behind close doors with frat brothers. That is not to say that all men who join fraternities are gay, bi-sexual or down-low! But some stories I have heard in regards to this alerted me to men who join fraternities and some of the things they do to get in them and be apart of them. I mean we can say that when men/women go to college they experience a lot of things (sexually) that they didn’t do or knew about until they went away to school. And the funny thing about all of this was his frat brother whom he was very close to and would do ANYTHING for and came over to his house on a regular. It wasn’t to me anything that got me, they shared women, money, sex and whatever else and his best frat brother was married!
Will got stranger and stranger by the moment. It was his constant belittling of me that made me cut him off. He felt his talent was way above mine and what I did meant literally nothing! I of course didn’t want any sexual relationship with Will once I found out all his dirty secrets, for me he was a confused dysfunctional little boy! And that was my opinion but I never told him you are sick and need help! That was not my place. I mean that he was confused about his life and expected a whole lot from others and he couldn’t give that same respect at times he was too raw with his candor. It also offended many colleagues of mine when he asked them “weird” things. I could no longer take up for Will.
When I had found someone to date, it was then that Will had started coming back by. Or shall I say wanted to come by my home and it was then his jealousy and insecurity came out to play. I hadn’t talked to Will in a year and once we caught up with each other. His deep seeded fantasies and sexual prowess have increased and now he is “mad” that he can no longer find a woman to satisfy his needs.
I am sure there will be a lot of people that will agree with me that when you work in a very large office, (sometimes it really doesn’t matter) that there is a lot of flirting, sexing and many marital affairs! I have seen this in many offices but never to the echelon I had experienced in the A. As I said earlier in previous episodes of ATL office romance, cheating and drama were in full effect and the women were hard up to have a man it didn’t matter if he was married or had a live-in girlfriend or in a relationship of some sort nothing was off limits!
A married man by the name of Chad wore his wedding ring with pride and any company event he brought his wife. Chad flirted with any and every young woman to older women. As long as you were a woman! Chad had affairs with many of the women in the office. And at first when I met Chad I thought he was a very attractive man! He was training the new recruits at first until he moved over into another department. I took Chad for a very low-key guy not out and about roaming as he was. Chad was a comedian and this “9-5” was just his means to an end until he “made it big” I saw as Chad caused drama on the low and almost got caught and about to lose his job because he was doing things with fellow employees he should not be. Smoking weed, drinking, hanging out, clubbing. See once he had made it to supervisor it was told that you could no longer fraternize with the employees. This was in their handbook! After being at the job for two years I succumbed to the madness. Matter of fact Chad came to the parties I threw!!!! And had sex with one of the employees that was there!!!! Wedding ring on and all and asked me would I join the both of them!! I asked Chad why he cheated on his wife; he said “I don’t think of it as cheating. I am faithful to her” Huh? (Scratching side of my head)
There were people that had sex in their cars in front/directly in front of the office management’s window and some of the supervisors were engaging in this same way on lunch breaks in the parking lot in front of security cameras!! And I know this because they got caught and fired!!! Were people that hot? That horny where they had to have sex in the parking lot of their job not even twenty feet from the front door? Whoo! Overwhelming!!
I had met two cops in ATL and one of them I got very close with. I will refer to one as Officer B. Dix. Officer Dix was a man that was so deep and caught in the sexual world that I personally thought he may have lost sight of being a cop. I know that may not make sense but you could call him on his cell at either two jobs he had and he was ready for “pillow talk”
I had met Officer Dix at an adult party. He had brought his “new girlfriend” to the party. His girlfriend was friendly and very nice, I could also tell that she was a woman that was very very blunt and she I soon found out later was very insecure. Here was a lady in my opinion that didn’t have anything to worry about as far as looks wise and body wise. If I had her height and looks I would be galloping down a runway! “Tracy” told to me by Office Dix was that he had a lifestyle in which he was not walking away from and if she wanted to be with him she had to flow with it. Now let me first give you some background on Tracy. She had been sexually, mentally, emotionally and physically abused from her parents to her husbands and family members. These were some of the people that took advantage of her love, body, kindness and when I simply just say she had problems, No she really had problems. And she also had serious health problems!!!
Officer Dix told me that he had taken her to a couple of places, (as I told you before there were a lot of legal clubs that hosted swinger parties just as if you were going to a regular dance club) that he was having “patience” with her and that she was working on it. Now when you are sexually abused, emotionally and mentally abused a huge portion of those people have that “learned behavior syndrome” is what I call it. If you have witnessed your parents fighting a lot of times you will find yourself in the same dysfunctional relationship. Being hit, yelling, fighting; this is normal. Also for some who have been sexually abused run to sex full throttle and have a very promiscuous sex life. And so was the case with Tracy.
Tracy I could tell wanted to and didn’t want to do this at the same time. Her experience this night was having sex with another woman, well not fully. Her boyfriend and “Chuck” Can you imagine three people coming at you all at the same time? Interesting I know there have been super orgy scenes in porn but her breakout role was overwhelming! And as I was told much later on Tracy did not enjoy or was attracted to women.
Tracy a lot of times was very pensive when it came to watching Officer Dix have sex with someone else, and she enjoyed going to the parties (the ones I gave) but not the ones that were dark, gloomy and you were being stalked. At that time it was my hustle and I gave kid-adult parties with themes, games, light and laughter! You had a choice, and there was security at my gatherings when I really got started.
It was time going forth that Officer Dix seemed to push and push Tracy into more and more illicit behavior. I had a rapport with each of them (friendship only) more so with Officer Dix who at one point said he “loved” her and wanted to marry her making this his third marriage as well as hers. But the “swinging” was his carte blanche to being with other women. But he would not “cheat” on her with another woman unless she knew about it. You cannot have a relationship (my opinion) in the swinger-ism if you have an insecure girlfriend/boyfriend.
Officer Dix pursued me while I turned away and told him you love her. He wanted to be with me lots of times. I could not get involved with that mellow drama at all! Officer Dix had no idea of what he was “creating” He felt that all of this was for his needs and his needs only. As time went by more and more he wanted to attend these sex parties and more and more it was mentally and emotionally hurting Tracy. All the while he pushed the more Tracy was happy to have a man in her life that she felt “loved” her sincerely. But this was not so, he then later told her they needed, again “they” needed a girlfriend. And so it was they were now on the hunt. They found one and her real sexual experience with two women and her boyfriend at the same time she enjoyed and was now getting very close to the new “girlfriend” because they had a lot in common!
It was now that Tracy had begun to go to parties by herself without Officer Dix, and she went to these parties with the girlfriend when she came in town or hooked up with others she had met along the way. Tracy was hooked, and Officer Dix had now gotten tired of the scene he had been in for three years! You see Officer Dix was sick with cancer and did not know it as of yet so he was always tired.
As Tracy was sick with Lupus and could no longer work Officer Dix was taking care of her and had grew tired and they never got married, he wanted her to move out of his home they had together. It took her three months to move out and as soon as she did, she now was a “lesbian” and had a girlfriend and back to work. I told Officer Dix this was all his doing, his fault as he relayed the information to me about her.
Well my time is up again!!! I must go, but I will of course catch you on the 12th episode of Erotic Cities!!
Toy High
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE 10
I now have to come back to a time and a space of which I have forgotten a lot! I mean because a lot of times we don’t want to hold on to a lot of things. Why should we? If we had a recollection of each and every thing that went on in our lives I believe we would truly go crazy and lose what faculties we do have. I had stopped for a period of time writing only because it had flooded me with good and bad. But I am back 2yrs later to finish what I started, my story on how I seen ATL and what I did, and how my part played in the vicious circle of The Flip-Side!
When I left off I was speaking on “Mark” a young man that was very persistent in getting to “know me” which was just sex only. One thing I can say about ATL there are a lot of people (not all) that are “fronting” that they have life and love money, men and women all in the back of their pocket. And for a selective few this was true! But for a lot it wasn’t, if people had a gotten a bad taste in their mouths about Cali saying that the people are “all plastic” then so goes it for ATL. Just as Cali you had a lot of people who were very plastic, lived or showed you a life that was far from the truth. When I met people I could see that they were sharp well put together dressers. And then when you went to their home or around people whom were close to them it all told a different story! That was “I really don’t have a lot, I don’t and barely have money and holding on to a weak job. And all the connects I said I have are really not feeling me.” A mouth full huh? Again this was not everyone, but how can one tell if you are meeting a sleuth of people and they claim to be “the one” you should get to know and have.
I had finally given Mark a good final no! That I was not the woman he thought I was and he couldn’t tap, hit, have, lay any of this here! I was beginning to feel as if I didn’t sleep with Mark that he would rape me! How could a young man as fine as him be so hard up that he would feel he had to “take anything from me? Hey rapist come in all shapes and sizes, good looks bad looks money fame and non famous and broke!
I had managed to get Mark off of me and I could not stay at his home any longer, it was getting late and I was tired of going back and fourth. I had no car at this time and the trains had already stopped running. So I had to stay the night, for some odd reason I had thought that Mark would be a selective few where I would not have stayed or hung out with Mark at all. It is like ATL had you under a spell of sorts. Like some people just stayed in this catatonic heat!
I left Marks house bright and early run down because I didn’t get any sleep. Had I had a car I would have been able to get home but due to the fact that we didn’t get to his home after 11p.m. and we caught a cab. Mark did not want to see me leave and was begging me to stay and that he was sorry the way he acted. But I wasn’t, I now knew where and how I would place him in my life.
The hardest thing I cannot understand is a person who does not understand the word no! And it was Mark that kept texting for almost a week and not getting a response from me. He was persistent!!!! And ignoring him was not working! Then it became begging!! I could see how many women were turned off, but the once fresh clean cut young man I had met had now turned into a desperate stalker! And as many women as there were here in ATL why was he pressing me so hard? Then there was the apologizing and me turning him down saying we could not talk, call, text or anything and that seemed to make matters worse after the insistent calls and texting that he was being ignored.
It was down to the wire and we were about to hear who are president would be. And a shock to a lot of people that we had our first Black African-American president! Mark was at my home when it was announced and so was my daughter there in tow. My daughter thought that Mark was boring, see-thru, and didn’t have much character and she didn’t like him. The only thing that saved Mark and let him come over was the fact he had “brought gifts” After we had all hung out sipped wine, I was tired very tired so we all turned in for bed. Mark was told that he was to sleep in the living room me in my room and my daughter in her room whom said she had locked the door. Again it was around early morning that Mark comes into my room and asks me could he “have some” I told him no. Of course this was my fault, but for the life of me I could not figure out why he was so desperate to have sex with me, why was he so pressed and couldn’t he have chosen another woman? But I had begun to think that Mark was this desperate stalker! I only had him over because he “Promised” to be cool and that how he was acting wasn’t him he just found me so damn sexy and attractive! Really? Not buying it! Mark had made three attempts in my room and I had put him out! That was that, and I had to literally put “do not answer” on my phone where his name should or would have been. He joined several others who had begun to be stalkers!
It was later on while doing some marketing and promoting for my site that I had come across a man whom I thought (again) would be really cool. He just so happened to live about fifteen minutes away. Born in the same month with both of us having soooo much in common. Sense of humor, and we shared a lot of the same views. While we chatted and chatted and my daughter had chatted we invited him to come by. Of course your first impression of someone most times seems to be a good impression. Because they give you good face of course. I know now but I had no idea that “Will” was attracted to me or wanted a relationship with me or felt I was the only one who could relate to him. I find that odd, but I found this out after I had ditched him and he had seen me on chat and came in to chat with me. But that is far into the story which I don’t want to get into now.
I did learn and very quickly I may add that Will was a huge eccentric in the sexual arena. However I also found out that Will had a lot of dysfunctional issues that spewed over into his personal, mental and emotional life. So much in fact it confused him about love, relationships and what he should and shouldn’t be doing in his life.
Will first and foremost had gotten a bad rep. I had met a couple of people who actually knew and met him and did not bite their tongue in what they had to say about him! My mouth was open wide with the info I heard!
First Will did so much! He was a producer (a job he really did have making and selling music for advertisers- I was impressed) then on the side he was a male exotic performer, Will was a huge exhibitionist! He loved being naked and showing his body. This was his first vice. Though he didn’t have a bad body, but he didn’t have a muscular body one you would expect a male performer to have. Next was Will had all of these explosive and explicit sexual fantasies spinning in his head, too many in fact for him to be able to cipher and work on one at a time. And the next thing was Will thought of sex or had sex on the brain most of the day. There was always someone he was pursuing.
One thing Will had told me was that he use to help throw swinger parties with his frat brothers, so he says it was about money and he never got into the sexual side of it but all and still he threw these parties. He said he would perform at them (male exotic shows) he also was sort of I guess you could say a man Madame. He seemed to have frat brothers that were married so he would always FIND a woman for them to hook up with to have sex. And he also provided his home for some raucous behavior. He loved watching he told me, “I just can’t sleep with any and everybody” This was really not the root of the problem. I later found out that Will had many more issues.
Will had asked me to do some pretty way out stuff for a person who had just met me. He asked me to call a few of my GF’s and ask if we could drive over there homes, honk the horn and have them come outside and be a judge to rather he had a big penis or not. (Confused) I had tilted my head to the side when I had heard this request. Who does this? Who would think like this? Can you imagine someone honking a horn, you come outside and judge what a man/woman’s private looks like and then go back in the house? I told him that I would not call any of my associates with such non-sense and I didn’t know anyone who would do that. I told him that he needed to ask his friends. He said that he has done that already. So I am sitting here thinking how much more validation do you need about how big or small you are? Of course I had not seen it, but he had told me that he was happy with it and that because he wanted to extend his audience more and start dancing in clubs. And that there were a lot of men that danced in ATL as male performers. Now you must understand that these men stripped down to nothing! And I can surely tell you that they do not do that in the clubs in Cali unless you are having a “private party”
So you see Will had told me that there were men whom he knew were larger than he was and from what I gathered he was intimidated. Really? So then I started thinking. And my thinking went many different ways! Was Will gay or down-low?
Will had asked me to do many crazy off the wall things that were very peculiar to me. He had asked me if I would have sex with his married frat brother because his wife was not giving him the type of sex he wanted (oral) and the women whom he had been with were all “low-life’s” and gave him a hard time. But I was a mature well rounded woman whom he believed I would be perfect and that I would get paid every time we had sex. Of course that was a no!!! And I was also asked if we all three could have sex, and if I would have sex with his frat brother and he watch!!! Now of course Will told me that his frat brother was asking him to ask me! He had left his business card with me, which I clearly tore up. I felt they were both at the center of it in my opinion.
It was one day that Will had asked me if we could have sex together, at this point and time I hadn’t been with anyone in over a month. The lover I had was having major ex-wife issues, child support, money, and job and home issues. And it was not going to work out at all.
I was shocked that Will had got his Janis backpack and low and behold inside of it he had put a……
My time is up, but hopefully you will catch up with me again for the 11th episode of Erotic Cities the Flip-side…. I am back giving you the full skimmy!
06/2011
Just Toy
Written Expressions
When I left off I was speaking on “Mark” a young man that was very persistent in getting to “know me” which was just sex only. One thing I can say about ATL there are a lot of people (not all) that are “fronting” that they have life and love money, men and women all in the back of their pocket. And for a selective few this was true! But for a lot it wasn’t, if people had a gotten a bad taste in their mouths about Cali saying that the people are “all plastic” then so goes it for ATL. Just as Cali you had a lot of people who were very plastic, lived or showed you a life that was far from the truth. When I met people I could see that they were sharp well put together dressers. And then when you went to their home or around people whom were close to them it all told a different story! That was “I really don’t have a lot, I don’t and barely have money and holding on to a weak job. And all the connects I said I have are really not feeling me.” A mouth full huh? Again this was not everyone, but how can one tell if you are meeting a sleuth of people and they claim to be “the one” you should get to know and have.
I had finally given Mark a good final no! That I was not the woman he thought I was and he couldn’t tap, hit, have, lay any of this here! I was beginning to feel as if I didn’t sleep with Mark that he would rape me! How could a young man as fine as him be so hard up that he would feel he had to “take anything from me? Hey rapist come in all shapes and sizes, good looks bad looks money fame and non famous and broke!
I had managed to get Mark off of me and I could not stay at his home any longer, it was getting late and I was tired of going back and fourth. I had no car at this time and the trains had already stopped running. So I had to stay the night, for some odd reason I had thought that Mark would be a selective few where I would not have stayed or hung out with Mark at all. It is like ATL had you under a spell of sorts. Like some people just stayed in this catatonic heat!
I left Marks house bright and early run down because I didn’t get any sleep. Had I had a car I would have been able to get home but due to the fact that we didn’t get to his home after 11p.m. and we caught a cab. Mark did not want to see me leave and was begging me to stay and that he was sorry the way he acted. But I wasn’t, I now knew where and how I would place him in my life.
The hardest thing I cannot understand is a person who does not understand the word no! And it was Mark that kept texting for almost a week and not getting a response from me. He was persistent!!!! And ignoring him was not working! Then it became begging!! I could see how many women were turned off, but the once fresh clean cut young man I had met had now turned into a desperate stalker! And as many women as there were here in ATL why was he pressing me so hard? Then there was the apologizing and me turning him down saying we could not talk, call, text or anything and that seemed to make matters worse after the insistent calls and texting that he was being ignored.
It was down to the wire and we were about to hear who are president would be. And a shock to a lot of people that we had our first Black African-American president! Mark was at my home when it was announced and so was my daughter there in tow. My daughter thought that Mark was boring, see-thru, and didn’t have much character and she didn’t like him. The only thing that saved Mark and let him come over was the fact he had “brought gifts” After we had all hung out sipped wine, I was tired very tired so we all turned in for bed. Mark was told that he was to sleep in the living room me in my room and my daughter in her room whom said she had locked the door. Again it was around early morning that Mark comes into my room and asks me could he “have some” I told him no. Of course this was my fault, but for the life of me I could not figure out why he was so desperate to have sex with me, why was he so pressed and couldn’t he have chosen another woman? But I had begun to think that Mark was this desperate stalker! I only had him over because he “Promised” to be cool and that how he was acting wasn’t him he just found me so damn sexy and attractive! Really? Not buying it! Mark had made three attempts in my room and I had put him out! That was that, and I had to literally put “do not answer” on my phone where his name should or would have been. He joined several others who had begun to be stalkers!
It was later on while doing some marketing and promoting for my site that I had come across a man whom I thought (again) would be really cool. He just so happened to live about fifteen minutes away. Born in the same month with both of us having soooo much in common. Sense of humor, and we shared a lot of the same views. While we chatted and chatted and my daughter had chatted we invited him to come by. Of course your first impression of someone most times seems to be a good impression. Because they give you good face of course. I know now but I had no idea that “Will” was attracted to me or wanted a relationship with me or felt I was the only one who could relate to him. I find that odd, but I found this out after I had ditched him and he had seen me on chat and came in to chat with me. But that is far into the story which I don’t want to get into now.
I did learn and very quickly I may add that Will was a huge eccentric in the sexual arena. However I also found out that Will had a lot of dysfunctional issues that spewed over into his personal, mental and emotional life. So much in fact it confused him about love, relationships and what he should and shouldn’t be doing in his life.
Will first and foremost had gotten a bad rep. I had met a couple of people who actually knew and met him and did not bite their tongue in what they had to say about him! My mouth was open wide with the info I heard!
First Will did so much! He was a producer (a job he really did have making and selling music for advertisers- I was impressed) then on the side he was a male exotic performer, Will was a huge exhibitionist! He loved being naked and showing his body. This was his first vice. Though he didn’t have a bad body, but he didn’t have a muscular body one you would expect a male performer to have. Next was Will had all of these explosive and explicit sexual fantasies spinning in his head, too many in fact for him to be able to cipher and work on one at a time. And the next thing was Will thought of sex or had sex on the brain most of the day. There was always someone he was pursuing.
One thing Will had told me was that he use to help throw swinger parties with his frat brothers, so he says it was about money and he never got into the sexual side of it but all and still he threw these parties. He said he would perform at them (male exotic shows) he also was sort of I guess you could say a man Madame. He seemed to have frat brothers that were married so he would always FIND a woman for them to hook up with to have sex. And he also provided his home for some raucous behavior. He loved watching he told me, “I just can’t sleep with any and everybody” This was really not the root of the problem. I later found out that Will had many more issues.
Will had asked me to do some pretty way out stuff for a person who had just met me. He asked me to call a few of my GF’s and ask if we could drive over there homes, honk the horn and have them come outside and be a judge to rather he had a big penis or not. (Confused) I had tilted my head to the side when I had heard this request. Who does this? Who would think like this? Can you imagine someone honking a horn, you come outside and judge what a man/woman’s private looks like and then go back in the house? I told him that I would not call any of my associates with such non-sense and I didn’t know anyone who would do that. I told him that he needed to ask his friends. He said that he has done that already. So I am sitting here thinking how much more validation do you need about how big or small you are? Of course I had not seen it, but he had told me that he was happy with it and that because he wanted to extend his audience more and start dancing in clubs. And that there were a lot of men that danced in ATL as male performers. Now you must understand that these men stripped down to nothing! And I can surely tell you that they do not do that in the clubs in Cali unless you are having a “private party”
So you see Will had told me that there were men whom he knew were larger than he was and from what I gathered he was intimidated. Really? So then I started thinking. And my thinking went many different ways! Was Will gay or down-low?
Will had asked me to do many crazy off the wall things that were very peculiar to me. He had asked me if I would have sex with his married frat brother because his wife was not giving him the type of sex he wanted (oral) and the women whom he had been with were all “low-life’s” and gave him a hard time. But I was a mature well rounded woman whom he believed I would be perfect and that I would get paid every time we had sex. Of course that was a no!!! And I was also asked if we all three could have sex, and if I would have sex with his frat brother and he watch!!! Now of course Will told me that his frat brother was asking him to ask me! He had left his business card with me, which I clearly tore up. I felt they were both at the center of it in my opinion.
It was one day that Will had asked me if we could have sex together, at this point and time I hadn’t been with anyone in over a month. The lover I had was having major ex-wife issues, child support, money, and job and home issues. And it was not going to work out at all.
I was shocked that Will had got his Janis backpack and low and behold inside of it he had put a……
My time is up, but hopefully you will catch up with me again for the 11th episode of Erotic Cities the Flip-side…. I am back giving you the full skimmy!
06/2011
Just Toy
Written Expressions
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