NEW BOOK! WHY COMPROMISE YOUR SOUL?

We fight for it and over it. We chase and run up behind it. We crave and taste to have it. Some of us will do whatever it takes for money, fame, success, love and more! Placing ourselves in precarious situations that we have to dig ourselves out of. And some can't. Some have to endure the pain and the diabolical shame! Greed, narcissism, low self-esteem and not being cognitive of the decisions some of us may make. Leading ones self down a terrible path that now we have to face and cannot run from. What is more important? One must decide...your well being?....peace of mind?...or your soul?

Toy High

TM Just Toy Written Expressions 

Dramatic, riveting, touching, exciting, thought provoking, rich, compelling, page turner, serious, sincere, emotional, jaw dropping, truth, non-factional, deep, dichotomy, daring when all is said and done!  The adjectives that describe the short story filled book!http://www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com/new-book-why-compromise-your-soul.php

WHY COMPROMISE YOUR SOUL?

Dramatic, riveting, touching, exciting, thought provoking, rich, compelling, page turner, serious, sincere, emotional, jaw dropping, truth, non-factional, deep, dichotomy, daring when all is said and done!  The adjectives that describe the short story filled book!

Erotic Cities-The Flip-side

OLD PUSSY AND NEW PUSSY

I sit back on my throne and watch new pussy act as if they have the best thing on the market! Silicone tiddays and silicone bootay you can have by getting some injections. Hair growing in unbelievable weaves and bounds! Eyelashes so long they can reach out and touch someone! Is it a plane? Is it a bird? Wait hold up it’s those too long fake eye lashes that have went too wrong! Some girls getting botox and silicone injections in their lips! And chicas think it’s cute to widen they hips! I can’t right now! And as I rule from a place high up in the stratosphere I see old azz chicks still sucking on dick! My mom use to say back in the day... “There will come a time when you will not be able to flip that dress tail” and look at em! Looking mad crae crae as they run the streets and sleep in between the sheets. Gray hairs on their azz and some pulling from their chinny chin chin. Staying up all night laying with every Tom Dick and John. Trying to run game like old pussy is better than young pussy cause they been in the game too long. But what old pussy doesn’t know is, once you were a treat and now you are just a trick! Just like men who once were the chase, of they gotta pay. Soon you will see that he may be hitting that right now. But that young pussy is on his arm! Please believe me! Look at young pussy as she spreads her legs and think her body and good looks gonna get her far! She walks by knowing men are looking. So she decides her wealth and knowledge are not in her talents but in her body! So of course she has that motto “Use what you got to get what you want” and as she sits alone she sees that she is truly not wanted nor loved. Only for the fake that she brings! Don’t know a real man want what every other man has had or can look at all the damn time! I thought I schooled you well! And old pussy still thinks the same that she can sell her shyt off to the highest bidder like she did back in the day. Are you kidding me? Your daze are numbered and now you gotta put up with more stuff to give your spoiled needy emotional needy attention azz what you were getting before. And trust all that creeping…that creep, creep, creep ain’t never got you nowhere! But I recall you got needs! Still looking like a two dollar hoar! Like Dr. Dre said “still” Old pussy is still acting like new young pussy! Experience is better in some cases I guess. But ain’t you learned nothing yet? With wisdom comes experience and experience comes knowledge and knowledge comes change. Guess a little piece of change must change something still in your life. And your knowledge ain’t your wealth; and maturity don’t have a part of your life. Well here is old pussy versus new pussy and I am one to tell you that I don’t have to sell my pussy short to get no attention or get my needs met or trying to make myself a two dollar trick. AIl seems as if some old pussy is trying to act like the young and restless of the new pussy that is used pussy and the new pussy is now old pussy that is still trying to act like new and young pussy! Wow! I don’t give a damn about fine young gorgeous and young pussy! Cause that shit get old! And fuk a damn cougar who still looks good and her pussy could be, maybe and should be ripe. But uh when she snatch that young game that young game still seems to go and be with all that young pussy! When will these young and old hoes waaaaaaaakkkkke up!!!!!! 1/2014 “Just Toy” Written Expressions

PUSSY ISSUES

I be straight up hav'n some serious hellified pussy issues! I mean it. I don't understand the shit either! Do you? Maybe somebody out there can relate to what I'm say'n. I mean give me a holla. Or at least co-sign for a sista! Damn! It's like my pussy be hav'n me in some straight up precarious situations. It's like I be in the wrong bed, wit the wrong man, in the wrong room! And I already know in my head that's not what I really want. Pussy issues y'all! Real pussy issues! Like somebody please help me out. I mean like my eyes can see a fine ass man. Now my eyes see this, not my pussy. And my pussy be all in a mutha fuk'n bunch! Like it's call'n out to this fine ass man to come and satisfy it's cravings. Now what I don't understand, is how my pussy see what my eyes see? Impossible! Pussy issues y'all! I'm telling you. I be straight up having some serious up and down, turn around, don't fuck around pussy issues! Like sometimes I can wake up in the morning, and my pussy will start talking to me. How can my pussy talk to me and it don't have a voice? But It does, it really does! My pussy will tell me it needs to be rubbed, touched and caressed. Licked and sucked on. Now I wanna know who's running who? Is my pussy running me? Or am I running my pussy? Pussy issues y'all. Maybe I need to seek some damn help! Get some damn therapy! Cuzz I must be the only one going through this shit. I haven't had no other sista come and tell me she be having the same damn issues! Pussy issues got me twisted turned around, fucked up all around pussy issues! Now my pussy would loved to be loved, worshipped, licked, sucked and handled wit care. Oh don't sleep! Don't even take a catnap on it. But because of the troubles and mistakes my pussy got me into before. I got to control it, and it can't control me! So I had to make a decision y'all, a real major decision. I decided to rub my own pussy by myself. Keep that mutha under control. So when my pussy get ta look'n, and talk'n like it always does. I calm it all the way down! Pussy issues. And I will continue to rub my own pussy until I find the right man to rub it for me. Me, not my pussy. Cause when I find the right one. My pussy will cherish, love, and worship that special man when he comes along. Until then I gots ta keep my pussy on lock down and in control! Pussy issues y'all! Straight up and down turn around pussy issues! 05/20/01 "Just Toy" Written Expressions

EROTIC CITIES FLIPSIDE A NEW EPISODE COMING SOON !!

It is ironic how you are about something and then that something is not all of who and what you are really about? Like you can go to a lounge or eccentric bar and have a drink or two. But that can't put you in the group of being an alcoholic. My point is that some of us indulge in things that to an extent I would be a voyeur. Knowing this about myself, also know that there are some things I will and will not participate in, nor do I want to have any knowledge of what some do or go. My experiences with swinger life if you will fall very short to those who are inspired but this lifestyle to step in full throttle! I love seafood!! Oh my how I love seafood! Crab, lobster and shrimp I feel I could eat everyday! But in my right realistic mind I know that if I did I would quickly get tired of it and want to eat something else. As in the case with some that do and have swung in the lifestyle very hard and full on! I could not be a person that could swing for years on a consistent basis. Not to say that who does is wrong and that they have an issue. We all have issues and flaws in on way or another. But being apart of a community of swingers and going to hang out twice a month for years with a group and then invited to go to other parties, I don't know. It gets boring and tedious after awhile. Now that I am back in Atlanta because I had been gone for three years. I figured I would try and get my feet wet for a bit. Nothing too heavy! So I have a close friend of mine that I have been intimate with recently. I am not a fan of us, and the closeness of us bedding one another is a challenge. For me it is a challenge because so many issues and things that I didn't know about until I had come back. I will call him “Kevin” Kevin was a huge supporter of my parties when I gave them. And considered to be an open-mind candidate to watch and have sex in a group setting. We had discussed this many of times before we had gotten involved. I loved Kevin because all the tiny and large idiosyncrasies I had he understood. He also seemed to understand my prowess and my yearn to be free and adventurist. I loved and still do love him for that! My first intimate encounter occurred with Kevin the night before I left Atlanta. Wow! Three years of knowing Kevin and I had no clue that sex would be as great as it was under the circumstances we were in. The hopes of getting caught and not getting loud was also a huge factor for Kevin and I and it made it a bit more animalistic! Three and a half years go by and I come back and tried too many times to have what “we” wanted; a hot passionate steamy sex life. Not to be! Kevin is much younger than I and has major issues. Issues that I had no clue about! Let me back up and say this before I go further. I do not believe that a man/woman should have sex with anyone if they have physical, mental or emotional issues that will prevent them from performing decently in a sexual capacity. And yes Kevin had these issues. It was so hard for me to address Kevin as to why he could not maintain an erection, why he kept trying over and over and over again to get one and yet make himself look bad and on my end grow increasingly tired of his issue. I no longer wanted to be with Kevin in this way any longer. What was the point? So After a few, which are a lot to me. Kevin and I are and will be only friends like we were before the sex. When I left for a five week personal and business trip in California I could not lay down with Kevin and be intimate with him in anyway because I knew that I would be disappointed. When we finally got to the meat and bones of his issue Kevin told me that when he was under emotional and mental distress it effected him sexually and his performance and he could not maintain an erection. So my question was or is, “Why keep having or wanting sex with me?” To keep me frustrated and agitated? I assume that was the reason! So now it made sense to me! Kevin did not have sex at my parties because he was inadequate in the bedroom! Though he told me long ago it was him just coming to support me. He wasn't about that life. Now fast forward. Kevin told me that he would love to go to some parties with me. Really? A man that has feelings for a woman wants to see her get done by another man? Will I test this theory? Of course I will! Kevin has been wanting to have sex with me since I got back, and I don't have the kind of insurance! I mean lets give it a break! You are still under duress and saying you're not (Kevin) and what will be the excuse this time. So in the new year we will adventure out into the world and see what happens. I bet you this much! He will not enjoy himself! How can a man of his situation do so? So be on the look out! Because the sexapades of the rich, famous and not so famous of swingers will begin! Rather I go just to hang out or rather I participate! There are a lot of Erotic City stories to be told! To be continued soon!...

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE THIRTEEN

I haven't lived in California for five years, well excluding a year. But on my visit back of 2012 I had found out some interesting things of people who were very close to me. The ironic thing was that these "people" I would have not guessed were in the swinger lifestyle. One of these people I had an off and on again relationship with for over ten years. Of course this rapport we had was nothing serious, far from love it was purely sexual. And not having see "David" in over fifteen years. I had learned that he had divorced his wife and also was a grandfather. David was now in a committed relationship with someone whom he stated that he loved. In fact when I touched back down In Cali he was the first person that had come to see me. And as we stood out and spoke he told me that he was a swinger! That his resent girlfriend was bi-sexual and that he was loyal to her. Now let me say this as I have said in previous articles that there are rules and regulations that couples set for each other. And David had made sure that he stood true to these rules in his relationship. Which I actually found so interesting. Let me stop and say this so that you can have some more history about the rapport that he and I had. One was that in knowing David for all these years David kept a lot from me. I would think that after knowing someone for a long time that one could be forthright with me. This of course was not how David lived, this creed or code did not exsist. Here we were in a very personal understanding and David had four children in the course of us seeing one another and he got married. David also was not faithful to his wife. I had found out that he was married when I received a text message some years ago from his wife asking me who I was! For those of you who know about two-way pagers. This was a new trend that everybody had gotten into. And though at this time I had not seen David in about five or six years. When I had seen him of course he not once mentioned he was married. Again I seemed to not be given any respect about his personal intimate life. The children, the marriage none of it! So it came to me by surprise that when we had seen each other in the many years that had passed he was now a faithful man in a committed relationship. David had asked me if I we could "hook up" Well now being older and having things in a different perspective. I declined, he was in a relationship that he cherished and apparently in love. David told me that if he had sex with another woman he would prefer that it would be in a swinger type situation and that his present girlfriend "Megan" be there. Or option two was that it could be more of an intimate setting that included himself, Megan, myself and another man if I wanted. David told me that he didn't "cheat" on Megan and that of he did it in front of her. David stated that if he wanted to have sex with another woman he had to ask Megan. Stating that she didn't mind, but it still bothered her if he had sex with another woman. It was a jealousy for her I assume and only can assume that she was not apart of David being with another woman. When David and Megan went on their swinging episodes Megan only did females and was not interested in other men. David kept pushing the issue of us being together in a menage a troi and I had refused. Now the reason I had did so was because I had no interest on his girlfriend at all! David? Well yes that's another story. Apparently if we had been lovers for years I wholly enjoyed Davis as a lover. Now let us get into the juicy part of this story. "Missy" is a woman that I have been knowing forever it seems. A woman who is very open with her sexuality. She likes women as much as she likes men and very vocal to whomever will listen about how kinky and eccentric she is. Now due in part that I take the time out to write said episodes of Erotic Cities. I am not one to sit in a group of men nor women and express how eccentric I am with no one unless asked or there is some open forum. I don't find the need to broadcast it nor show any toys, literature, lingerie or speak on any of my exploits. Not the case with Missy. She needs the validation, the attention and she wants to be the center of any and everywhere she can. Have you ever had anyone in your life that looks up to you so much that if you said jump they would say how high? Well this is who Missy was. She was like my slave or servant if you will. No I did not make her that way and that was not my purpose for her. That is how she put herself in my life. A bit agitating for me because of me being a free spirit and don't like to be smothered by ANYONE! You must be secure in the love and trust for me to be with me. So imagine my angst when I had Missy calling or texting me on my visit when I was not in her presence ALL the time. But where or whatever I wanted to go or do Missy was down just so that she could be around me. So now that you have background on her, I can move deeper into the story. I had of course told Missy all of what was going on with David. She of course was a best friend of mine. Of course she took my side that I would not place my self in the situation of being with David she agreed with me stating, "No I wouldn't do it either! How does he tell you the only way he can sleep with you is of you sleep with him is you should have sex with his girlfriend." We agreed. Of course she would agree with me because that is who she was. Now when I propositioned her with being with him, she said, "Well whatever you want to do I will do it with you." There you have it! If I could have sex with David and asked her to join she was down. Missy was so subservient that she would do anything to see me have sex with another man and be with me sexually as well. I have known for years that Missy wanted me that way. Let me stress this, which is slightly scary. She was the single black female. She mimicked me and as much as she could and that bothered me. You ask why do I continue to deal with her. I scoff at this and tell you the reason why is because for one we live in different states and I don't have to deal with her as much. And that we also have thirty plus years of knowing one another. David had text me and told me that there was a swinger party going on. And of course I wanted to go just so that I could bring you this story! Nooot! Truth is I wanted some excitement and hadn't had any of this sort of play in a long time. So I had agreed. Now I had told David about Missy as well, how kinky she was and down and that if he wanted her he could have he he could. I had even taken pics of Missy's nipples that were pierced and sent them to him. Being a breast man I am sure that David was excited and anxious at the same time. David and Megan could have her! And of course I would watch! I swear I would because not only was I an exhibitionist in this arena. I was also a voyeur of sorts. So we are now at the swingers event, and I will admit that we Missy and I were very impressed. First and foremost the event was in a very should I say a place I would not visit or venture to in Los Angeles. But the set up was hot! And this house was dedicated to catering to these type of events only! The owner of the house had it decorated very posh I must admit. There was security at the front, and when you walked in the door past security you met up with the cashier. It was like actually walking into a dance club. You received a stamp on your hand. And on her counter there was a bowl that had condoms of all sorts inside of it. Music was blasting, not a great mix at all. It didn't set the mood for this type of event. There were a sleuth of men and not enough women. There was puff puff past of joints and blunts that had permeated through the air outside. And these men were sitting on the bench. There was as bar, and next to the bar there were bar tables and bar chairs along the walls of the backyard and patio which was all paved and very neat and clean . There was also a stage and a stripper pole with mirrors behind the performer. The female stripper they had hired didn't impress me or Missy at all! In fact she had performed twice and not get any tips! I had seen David and we hugged and kissed each other. Introductions were made. And now I could see his girlfriend up close and personal. The picture he had sent me via text did not do her justice. However the size and girth of her body mass was not something I wanted or was attracted to. In fact I am not bi-curious, bi-sexual in anyway and I am not attracted so much to women where I crave to sleep with them. My preference is men and men only! Not that I hadn't been with a woman sexually I just didn't crave them and go back and forth as Missy did. We were giving a tour of the house and it's many rooms. The one room that I loved the most was a queen size bed that was suspended by chains coming from the ceiling. A bed swing! And there was also a chair in the room too that was made the same identical way. There was a room for oral only and a couples room only. There was porn being played on every flat screen TV and monitor all throughout the house. Something I didn't quite care for at any swinger party. I feel we all know why we are here, so why do we have to show porn? It's not in good taste in my opinion. For me there is an discomfort level that feels forced upon it's participants. And again this is my opinion only! We had found a table outside and of course got a feel of the people that were there. The sad thing about going to swinging venues there are always people that you don't find attractive and would never ever sleep with at all! This of course is a huge turn off to me. I am not the perfect body nor shape. But come on!! There was the host that had tried to solicit Missy and I to sleep with her if we had asked. She had to be six feet or close to it. She had to be three hundred plus and she was an admitted bi-sexual woman and a cougar. She admitted that she loved young guys who were in their early twenties and that it was these young men that were well hung and gave her a run for her money. I was quite disgusted that anyone would lie down with her. She was sloppy and unattractive in my eyes. But they say there is someone for everyone, and yes it is! The thing about swinging is that there will always be people there of course that you will wish they were not there. And some that are bottom line perverts. However the one thing that all swinger clubs have is the rule of watching and not participating. Sounds crazy right? It is the private rooms that voyeurs are not allowed to go into and watch the couples have sex and not participate. Now what had turned me so off about this gathering of sexual and social misfits was that their were too many young people in attendance. Now the fact that I am a grown woman with grown children that are past teenagers I do not want to have sex with any man that is younger than my children. There were young boys there that were nineteen and eighteen years old! And while this may have been beautiful for the host who gleefully stated that she was a cougar and proud of it. This was not for me or Missy. In fact when all the "babies" had talked to me I would ask them how old they were, I would scoff and laugh letting them know that I wasn't interested in trolling in the pool of molesting young boys that yes were of age. I was good and so were a lot of the guest that were at the function. No one wanted to have sex nor put on a show for some young boys! Now David had hot on Missy a few time asking could he see her pierced nipples and even suckle, Missy had politely turned him down. Only because she knew I didn't want to have sex with him and his girlfriend. Well I will tell you this much that David could have had me if he would have had no girlfriend and he didn't want me to sleep with her. This party was a serious drag and I wasn't trying attracted to anyone there. But of course I had a few men and young boys that were acting as if I was the last meal and if they could just sit down and have dinner with me everything would be great! So we left! But the adventure does not stop here. The private threesome party ..... Missy I could tell was yearning for me in more ways than I can express. So Missy had decided to have her own swingers party at her home. And this is a home that was not hers at all! This home that she had been living in for the past nine years belonged to her boyfriends mother. Well let's be clear the boyfriend that I will call "Mike" is no longer a boyfriend but an ex because they have not have had sex or slept in the same room for over a year. Are you still paying attention? I do hope so. So the invite went out because Missy wanted this private party. I was okay with her having the private party I just wasn't happy with the current situation and the blatant disrespect for a man that was sweet as pie literally! So the invites went out by phone and so now Missy was going to "share" the man that she had been having an affair with for the past few months into her home who by the way had no ides he was being invited to a private swinging party. He was under the assumption that he was coming to see Missy. The rest of the guest knew what was going on though. I was not feeling this situation with "sharing" of the man she wanted "us" to have. I said nothing to Missy about this, I kept my mouth shut. Just because she felt that the sex between them was wonderful and they had a connection did not mean we would have one. And that is what swingers do they pick the person they feeeeel they have a connection with. So when "Mark" came over I wasn't feeling him at allll! Not to say that he was not attractive man, i just didn't see what Missy saw in him. As the other guest arrived I wasn't feeling them at all. But I waited as three other guest had began to file in. All ready for some fantabulous freaky afternoon! Ne ow one thing I had noticed was that unlike me these people were greedy and anxious to have sex!! It didn't matter who it was with they just wanted to do it. For me it is all about the art of seduction and seducing my prey. To kick back and not be so hard up. Though yes as crazy as it may sound you do want to experience that high that sex gives us all. But when you are to anxious and hungry it shows and for me it is a turn off. So instantly I knew that Mark was ready to devour me. After we all had lunch that was prepared by Missy. There were no drinks involved no popping of pills as some do when they come to these sort of gatherings. No liquor, no marijuana. We were not influenced by anything just flesh. And the men that were there seemed as if they were drooling and the women were just as hot as Missy was. I was now repulsed. My whole idea of lust and sexual freedom was now on the shelf. The variety of men and women had ruined my appetite! Missy didn't wait she instantly had began to give Mark oral and he was very shocked when she had done this in front of everyone. But of course he didn't stop her! As she pulled waved for me to come over I had refused and had pulled the two other women over to Missy so that they could touch, kiss, lick and watch. I watched as the need for attention and sexual validation had begun. For me it was like being out of body and not in as good way! As Missy was working on Mark he seemed to be enjoying the sight and feel of hands all over him. The two women had began to work on each other while the other man had watched and had bid me to come over to him. I ignored him, I just wasn't feeling the scene and why did I not say anything because Missy was so anxious in having this wild sexual party. Because I ignored the man he had now went over to the two women and had joined in. Moans and sighs of pleasure had filled the living room. And when it had gotten further into the crust of things. I noticed no one had used protection! Disgusted ... The sexual buzz and high was permeating through the room. I felt the buzz, enjoyed the buzz and loved the noises. But not the people... Well Until next time...yes this article is over.. but umm stay tuned for part fourteen! Toy High