SPEAK ON IT!!! (NEW SERIES REAL TALK BLOG)

HAVING A BABY AND BEING A SINGLE PARENT AT ANY AGE IS HOT AND CUTE!!! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW!!!

Okay, let me ask you this….when was the last time you saw an ad campaign encouraging teenagers to protect themselves from being an unwed mom? Don’t worry I’ll wait..(Jeopardy music in the background) Okay times up!! You haven’t …hmmm wonder why? Well I will give you my opinion and my opinion only. Why in the world do we need any? Why do we need anyone or any non-profit organization, OB-Gyn doctors telling young girls not to have unprotected sex and bring babies in this world? Well, (excuse me while I sip from my truth cup…ahhhh feels good) Because there is no longer such a thing as role models. And if there are not any reasons to believe in them why have them? And long gone are the days of just teenagers having babies unwed but adult women! …hmmm..

Now I can run a loooong list of actors, singers, rappers, actresses and actors that have had babies out of wedlock. Marriage is the last thing that anyone seems to want. (let me back up and not catergorize-some) And the hippest trip in America is if you want a baby you to can be a baby daddy or mommy! Awwww how cute and hot is that? Very hot. Solange Knowles, Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Courtney Kardashian (and she is pregnant with her second child) I can go on and on and on at how so many women have had babies and not married. Now hold up! These are not young girls or teenagers! No, no, no, no! These are young women and young ladies! When I pulled and looked up statistics a lot of WOMEN were in their forties! Hmmm…and some were in their thirties and late twenties! And also all the many many reality TV shows that have women who have children and were never married and are busting babies out like hit records!! Uh jeesh the irony f it all!

Long gone are the days of morals and doing things in good taste. I know that we have stretched this each year and each decade. However it is more common to shack up, to have babies and not wait until you marry. It is also common for women to raise children by themselves. And this one is a new yet oldie at the same time. Men are now raising their children because the mothers who had the babies don’t want to be bothered anymore. Rather that is due to drug abuse, running around and hanging out, new boyfriend or whatever. (hitting the top of microphone) Is this thing on? I am just saying are some of these (young and older) recognizing that you have to raise and take care of children? I guess not. That children are a responsibility and once you have children you can’t give them back? Or can you? Oh yeah you can, to the fathers that step up to the plate. Oh and grandmothers!! Yeah they work real well. And if you have money give them to the nannies to raise! Yeah that’s a good one!

Oh and the many men who are pro-ballers, singers who know that a woman will be open to lay up and have un-protective sex just so that she can have the grand and wonderful opportunity of getting pregnant. Eddie Murphy, Jamie Foxx, Mel Gibson, Brad Pitt, Sean Combs, Robert Deniro. And again this list is super long. Is there any damn justice here? I mean really? How can a mother or father for that matter tell their child how important it is NOT to have children when they are just a child themselves or that it is better to have children after you have finished college and settle down and get married. And hold on! I am not saying that marriage is indefinite or anything of that nature. And that it will make the mom and dad stay together to raise the child! It just gives you some damn dignity!

I am no angel here, far from it. I had two children out of wedlock. But I cut the cord, the cycle and I cut the disease at the root with my children! I will not go into how I did this. However, I am not a grandmother and proud to say it! My daughters are in their mid twenties and there has not been any mishaps. They are single, live your life! Were you not in the same house I was in and did you see mommies struggles with you and how my marriage broke up and he didn’t hold his end up? I am in my mid forties and I made my mother a granny grandmother when she was forty-one. Not cool, hot or sexy about a woman being in her prime and being a grandmother. I now of women that are grandmothers in their thirties because they were having babies at thirteen and fourteen! Was I given the talk? Sure I was! But I was not given any tools! No birth control, no trips to a doctor to discuss it and no brochures or books. My mother said, “Don’t do it!”


How do we stop abortions? How do we stop women from having babies and condoning being a baby mom or baby dad? How do we cry out to the world that using protection is not just preventing one from getting AIDS or STD’s? Because that seems to be the only way we have been seeing campaigns on having protective sex. And guess what? Those ads have dwindled down along with commercials. Maybe in countries where millions and millions of people are dying and the AIDS rate is at an astronomical high.
The top twenty-five cities and states that have aids in our great US of A….
1 Miami, FL 37.2 64,573
2 Baton Rouge, LA 30.6 4,565
3 Jacksonville, FL 29.1 7,292
4 New York, NY-NJ-PA 27 223,508
5 Washington, DC-VA-MD-WV 26.6 37,916
6 Columbia, SC 23.5 3,949
7 Memphis, TN-MS-AR 23.3 6,018
8 Orlando, FL 23.3 10,457
9 New Orleans-Metairie-Kenner, LA 23 9,941
10 Baltimore-Towson, MD 22.8 23,875
11 Jackson, MS 22.2 2,881
12 San Juan-Caguas-Guaynabo, PR 20 24,126
13 Lakeland, FL 18.9 2,210
14 Atlanta-Sandy Springs-Marietta, GA 18.7 27,313
15 San Francisco, CA 18.3 44,422
16 Tampa-St Petersburg-Clearwater, FL 17.4 13,135
17 San Antonio, TX 12.3 5,892 San Diego-Carlsbad-San Marcos, CA 16 14,723
18 Charlotte-Gastonia-Concord, NC-SC 15.7 4,123
19 Houston-Baytown-Sugar Land, TX 15.1 29,556
20 Charleston-North Charleston, SC 14.4 2,423
21 Raleigh-Cary, NC 14.3 2,632
22 Nashville-Davidson-Murfreesboro, TN 13.7 4,570
23 Fresno, CA 13.5 1,829
24 Cape Coral-Fort Myers, FL 13.2 2,034
25 Columbus, OH 12.9 3,966
Now apparently it is not worth a lot (not all) teenagers, young ladies, or women have protected sex if they are trying to hook a man, or “just want a baby because now I feel it’s time” Let me ask you does any STD or AIDS virus discriminate? Take your time to answer that one, don’t worry I’ll wait!...(Jeopardy music playing….buzzer goes off!) Times up! The answer is no! So I’m asking, rich, famous, middle-class, poor and barley making it don’t cha know get STD’S and AIDS! Are you kidding me? Woooow I didn’t know this information! So you mean to tell me it is okay, it is hot to get the dropsies and drop it like it’s hot and let it down low? What are we promoting here?
Picture this, can you please? Let’s do a beautiful and wonderful spread in a fashion slash entertainment magazine. There are seven women, dressed to the nines in designer clothes and shoes make-up is flawless. And all seven of these women are just smiling and gushing with pride because they just had their babies. Below their group pic it says, “Being a single mom at any age is hot and a beautiful thing to do” Can you picture that? Close your eyes come on and envision some of the stars and celebs that have had babies. We should get them all together and do it! Just like Nike! Do it!
Let me tell you something from the bottom of my closed womb. (laughing out loud) I don’t and never have condoned my being pregnant and single. Meaning my first child at nineteen and my second at twenty and I got married three moths after my second was born. Never once glorified any celebrity of any sort having a baby out of wedlock. Yes it is your choice, your body, your decision. Of course it is! But you cannot reach and teach the masses of young people who do look up to you not to do something and you turn around and do it. Can an alcoholic or drug addict say to someone don’t do this and are high or drunk? I have spoken to many, and of course not all have gone down that path. But their parents said don’t get high while they were high, don’t drink, don’t get any girl pregnant, don’t come home pregnant to their daughters. Don’t have sex, protect yourself, and guess what? From my statistics 70% have done what they were shown and told not to do….
I don’t watch too much TV, but I noticed that Trojan has a commercial campaign for lovers now. Some new lubricated gel that blows your wig back for men and women to get you extra wet and extra sensations for the man and the woman while having sex! This gel is the B-all end! Not once does it say be sure to use a condom, nope. Not once does it say for adults only..nope… It just says if you wana ride and ride right this is a must have like those shoes you have been wanting!! Aha! So get it, try, do it and enjoy! I am not throwing daggers at the commercial. I am sure, well nooo I can’t be sure. But I assume it is a wonderful product but where is the sense of responsibility here?
While teenage pregnancy has decreased it is still prominent in our world. These are the top ten cities and states that have the highest teen pregnancy rate. I am glad that it has decreased.
1. Nevada (113)
2. Arizona (104)
3. Mississippi (103)
4. New Mexico (103)
5. Texas (101)
6. Florida (97)
7. California (96)
8. Georgia (95)
9. North Carolina (95)
10. Arkansas (93)
However I am sad that women who are in the public eye are having babies to get “paid” (some not all) and the image it gives. But then again maybe as a collective whole we are noo longer concerned what society thinks anymore. That is another story. So mothers and fathers how can you teach your children not to have babies when they see child custody orders, child support cases, many celebrities having babies? We just hope that the few that are listening can pass it on. Because right now it’s reaaal hot to have a baby and not be married at any age.. I’m just saying….

Toy High
Writer/author
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com
justtoywrittenexpressions@yahoo.com