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Friday, November 20, 2015


You don't understand! Whew! I had to get that one out! It has been awhile since I have brought an Erotic City Flip-side. However I have recently moved back to Atlanta! After being gone for close to five years I was happy and excited to be back. Coming out of a bad relationship/marriage that didn't last long at all! My husband and I were not in the swinging lifestyle. However I had no idea that I was marrying an unstable emotional cheater! Who knew? I waited twenty years to get remarried and I marry him! I am not bashing him, I am only speaking truths! However, it would have been fine if we had been in the lifestyle than maybe I would have been okay with him being with other people. However, since we were was time to get up and walk away!

Well I came back to Atlanta now being separated and soon to be divorced after two years. I wanted only to date! Nothing more nothing less. Jumping into the pool of lust was the last thing I needed nor wanted to do. That seemed to not take me into the right places. However here comes the boom! After dating here and there. Meeting some men that really didn't do it for me. Now I was more into having my mind stimulated. Or should I say I was always like that, but now even more!

I will call this man “John” I met John on one of the social media sites I am on. I am always meeting people on my accounts so this was no surprise. Rather it is business or personal. I of course make the decisions as to if I am going to meet the “personal” in person or not.

John and I spoke through the method of in-boxing here and there. Then John asked me of he could call me. I told him to leave me his number. John left his number in my inbox. I was in no rush to call or text John. If men found me interesting enough to approach me. I asked them to leave their number. I reached out when I was ready to reach out. You can call it control.

It took me a few days to contact John. As soon as I contacted John he was ready to meet me ASAP! We had one conversation, text the next day. Then John was ready to see me. This was typical of all the men that had the guts, or balls to reach out to me. I say that because it is much easier in my opinion to reach out to someone over the computer, behind a phone or some sort of screen and not in person to many.

At this particular time, and still to this day. I am not looking for a relationship, love, marriage or sex. That may seem odd to some. However, when you are on a path of personal improvement wanting to heal from emotional, mental baggage and garbage this is what one does. However I was clearly, and I am still open to meeting men. Of course! I am attracted to them, I enjoy the company of men, hanging out with men and talking with men. I wanted to be sure that the man I hang out with or even date stimulates me intellectually and that we have more than just physical and sexual attraction.

John had left work and was eager to see me when he got off. He had told me that he had been working a lot of overtime and had very few days off. Today was a good day to see me. Well, I am busy too! However I made some time for John since he made it a point that I seemed to always be busy. So a late lunch was planned.

It seemed that John and I would be a good couple. Meaning that we could be honest and straight forward with one another. He was very curious about me. As I was about him. John was also eager to ask questions about my past sex life. So soon? I had nothing to hide, but jeesh! I said something that seemed to spark these questions. However I said nothing in regards to sex. Nor pertaining to sex. This was a flag! A flag that would stay up from that moment on! John asked me if I was bi-sexual. Well I am not, neither am I bi-curious. He had began to tell me that he was sleeping with a woman that was bi-sexual and a model. When he showed me a picture of her. I was not impressed at all! I saw nothing that said model, good looking, attractive nor beautiful. I instantly asked myself....who has she modeled for? John also told me that he was having an affair with a married woman. My eyebrows raised! Why was a man who was fairly attractive dating, or should I say having an affair with a married woman? But I will tell you this. Atlanta at one time use to be number three in divorce rate. John told me that she was now pregnant so he was no longer seeing, sexing her. But, the “model” was his gosee you can say. She was the one that attended swinger parties with him and was bisexual. So there another red flag had gone up! He asked me if I was bi because I described myself as being “eccentric” however not fully knowing that eccentric has no correlation with sex at all. It simply means, odd, weird, different. He assumed sexual.

You see, John immediately thought that I would be a great addition to his circus and he hadn't even gotten to know me. Though he lied and stated that he loved my writing, my views, my opinion and how intelligent and different I was. He enjoyed my style and outlook on life and energy. I hear that a lot. Of course artist stand out. Well most do! I could see deep inside John plotting and planning. However I gave no vibes that I wanted to be with him nor join his cohorts. John was honest, he said that he was a swinger and loved the lifestyle. I told John this was not a lifestyle that I indulged in anymore. All because I was too old for these shenanigans. John was going to be fifty soon, and to me I thought that was a bit too old to be playing in this arena. Not saying tht men don't have sex at this age or not players. I just thought differently of him I guess from the inboxing and conversation we had. Yes, I told John I had been with a woman. But that didn't mean that I was looking to get with a woman again!

John was fairly fit, so it seemed. I mean he was active, not overweight. However, when is enough enough? It seemed as if John was getting on me for not wanting to be a swinger anymore. Though he told me that he didn't participate as much as he use to because he worked so much now. However, the ha ha thing in this is. John says that he had to stay relevant in the community and at least participate here and there. Later I would come to find out that John was very vain and cocky because he hosted ten inches. I guess that is impressive for a lot of horny women.

I go to hang out at Johns house. Why because I was comfortable to do so. I didn't feel threatened of any sort. Of course he tried me, tried to hit on me in a sexual way more than twice. But I refused! I just met the man! I wasn't looking for a bed fellow! But apparently John was because his ex married lover was now off the market. However he was tiring of the “model” because she begged and asked him to come have sex with him. Again I wasn't impressed. Swinging was no longer appealing to me as it once was. The reason was because most of the people that were in this life got so consumed, for some it was like a drug. For the men that were addicted to this lifestyle I found out later were having a hard time maintaining an erection. Some would get to these parties and were drunk and couldn't get it up! Some were stoned on so much more than just alcohol. Again I say some. Keep in mind in this elite tight circle. Drugs were plenty! Of course! It was an open orgy! Of course the host, if the host was giving this at their home. What one could think of or want would be supplied! This is of course is the same when you go to the private clubs. Nothing different! It is like going to a rave! The club owner of course may not sell drugs, but there are people there who do!

After my first meeting with John I had placed him on hold. He and I spoke, but what I came to find out was that we really didn't have too much in common. Our conversation flowed only because we were trying to get to know each other. That meant asking each other questions about the other. Children, family, interest, past relationships, hobbies. You know things like that. So that was the interesting part of it. However, John came off as a horny crazed sex fiend in my opinion. Whenever I would tell him that he would deny it! But I knew better! Is there not more than just having sex with a woman? Are we now old wnough and not young teenagers where we have to feed our lust ASAP? Plus STD's is back on the rise and now Charlie Sheen has come out and says he has had HIV for years! Don't be in such a rush to lay with someone you barely know was my feelings.

Two weeks had gone by. The one thing I could say that I did like about John was he was very straight forward and honest. He also had a great sense of humor. He also enjoyed my sense of humor. I could tell that John was deeply feeling me, while I was far from deeply feeling him. Why? Because here was a man that was too cocky for his own good. He also was a narcissist that need to be put in his place. But while he was slinging his penis around giving it freely. While women were praising him for his thick ten inches he would be arrogant and self fulfilled! I hadn't taken that plunge as of yet.

John was accustomed to women running up behind him, he loved it. He denied this, but that was a lie. He loved the fact that women wanted him, begged for him to sleep with him. Too much begging bothered him. Oxymoron isn't it? I didn't do it, and yet had I had any of Johns ten inches, I was cool! I really was. So as the days progressed, some days I would text him and wish him a great day. Days would go by and neither of us would reach out. However when I did, he would call me a “stranger” My thoughts were, you can call me just as I can call you. Oh, I forgot to mention that John drove a Mercedes convertible Benz. This was not an extension of his penis. But of his grand ego. Not just for the ladies to drool over but for men. No no no! John wasn't gay! But he liked the attention! When I hung out with him, John took me to the places that he frequented. Mainly to show me off. This is not for my ego, but for his. Because the men he introduced me to, that hung out and frequented the same places he did would fond over me as well. I seen the women, or some of the women John had been with, and seemed to me in my eyes that it didn't matter what they looked like. As long as they had a va jay jay and breast it was all good. Neither did he discriminate, he screwed all ethnic backgrounds.

John had asked me to go to a gathering with him. A gathering that I made sure by asking of course if these people were who he swung with. They weren't, they were people he worked with. So I went. I did have a great time, beautiful home, nice people. Then I see John, John was drinking and I am not a big drinker. My father was once a severe alcoholic. I drink sociably, two at the most! But john, John was throwing them back. Now I was concerned. How would he be able to drive? I was very nervous! I asked him if he wanted me to drive, he said he was okay and that he could do it!

I had noticed that John had gotten off the freeway, or highway some say. This was not the way to my home! However maybe he felt comfy taking the surface streets because he was a bit alebriated. The police are notorious in Atlanta on drunk drivers! However, I quickly noted that we were not headed to my home but his! So of course I opened my mouth and spoke. I asked, “Why are we going to your house?” because I am too drunk to drive you home.” I knew this trick, and I thought it was a low blow to my esteem and as a woman that we are grown and you could have simply asked if it was okay. Not just take me to your house. Such a low life I thought to myself. Of course giving him a piece of my mind at the same time. In a cordial way of course because I had no idea of what type of drunk John was. John tried me, of course he did!!! However he was too drunk and I wasn't having it. The one thing about me is I loath a drunk, and I loath drunk sex!!

John an I ended up hanging out the whole weekend. It was fun, we laughed and again in that getting to know ach other. Me being an inquisitive soul I was alwys asking question in many areas.

I had a lot on my plate, and I didn't have my internet or wifi services on as of yet. I had to change my provider and they couldn't get out to me as they hd promised. I needed to handle some serious business. John and I had not seen each other in three close to four weeks since our last meeting when he was drunk. However, I had called him up and asked if he felt comfortable with me using his printer and computer so I can set up some of my business' services. He of course was okay with it. The wonderful thing was he was working two of his jobs and I would not have to be bothered with him over my back and on my neck and trying to get between his legs!

However John did warn me that he was going to have company later on. A couple were coming by his house that were swingers. At this time my funds were low, my car had been wrecked. Those who I could have called to come and get me and take me home lived too far away. I had been gone for close to four years. So I had not contacted many of my old constituants. How clever to tell me all of this at the last minute. Or the day he had picked me up to bring me over to his house. Now if he wanted to have sex with a couple, I really could have cared less. This may sound odd to some, but not for me. First I wasn't going to participate, second I wasn't sexually attracted to John. Not in the way he was with me. Third, we were not in a relationship nor were we dating. I mean we were hanging out here and there. I will say that I did have an intimate moment with John. I didn't get nor feel the way the other women did over this man in bed. My expectations are very high in the sex arena. When a man toots his horn and speaks on how wonderful he is in bed. I expect that! However, John didn't say he was wonderful in bed, he spoke on how large his member was and how women seemed to clamor all over him for it. John gets the gas face from me because I was not impressed!

John thought that if he had brought this couple over I would jump at the chance to make it a foursome! Nope not at all! I didn't even want to play the voyeur. How silly of him, the simple mindedness of him. Thinking that he could lull and pull me into a world I said I didn't want to be a part of. No one can make me do anything I don't want to do. It has to indeed be something I want to be apart of, period!

Well, when his friends got there. I went into the other room. I had no wishes to meet them personally so that I not give off the impression that I was participating in their romp. Besides, when I seen her and him, I was not impressed. My thoughts had quickly went to all the pics of women John had shown me that he had sex with, past girlfriends. I am not saying any man nor woman has to sleep with a model-esque type person. No! But to lay up with anyone who wants a sample is too much! When do you draw the line? It's like a woman/man who is in a relationship and their partner cheats with someone who is less attractive than they are. You scratch the side of your head and think, “Why?” I shook my head at John, you have fun, because that is! I was not going to be pimped out for John's personal sex lust games.

John was excited and happy! I ignored him and the menage he was about to have. When he was ready to move into his bedroom which is where I was at, I kindly moved out of the room and came to sit in the living room. Where the female was giving fellatio to the male. I walked back out, John thought it was funny and was smiling from ear to ear. I rolled my eyes and was getting a bit agitated by it. But I didn't stay in the mood for too long. Because John was getting a kick out of my facial expressions.

They all left and journeyed into the bedroom and I was content in the loving room watching TV on the projector screen that john had in his living room. I talked on the phone, it was like they were not even in the same house. That is until John came into the living room nude, with a condom having off of his penis!!! Smiling like a Cheshire cat! Really???? Did you need to come out of the room and walk allll the way in here to let me know you were using protection, or that you were screwing??? Wow!!! This was now the last straw for me. John had signed his death certificate.

When they left John expected me to sleep in the same bed with him and wanted me to have sex with him!! Really???? Are you serious???? You just got laid!!! Nope I am good, I slept on the couch. That morning John woke up, he tried to solicit sex again. I was so livid and disgusted with him.

John spoke incessantly of swingers, his lifestyle, his penis, having sex so much that it totally turned me off!!!!

The life of a swinger! When I left that day I immediately erased his number, all text messages and blocked him from my phone. If I want to be a madame, a swinger, live a loose life as he was. I'ma call you, I will! NOT!!!!!!However when one meets a person(s) who is so deep in this life and can't see past their penis or va jay jay to live in reality and note that there are more things that are interesting in life than just a quick screw an not establish a real friendship. Which is what I was trying to establish with John. The many conversations we had with one another. The many conversations that I had told him of his many exploits and that I did not want to be his concubine or a part pf his harem. He seemed to inner and understand that. But for some reason John was blinded by sex, sex, and more sex! This is some of the thoughts and feelings of some of the people that lived in Atlanta! Hot sex on a platter!

Stay tuned for more Episodes...until next time!

Sunday, June 7, 2015


We fight for it and over it. We chase and run up behind it. We crave and taste to have it. Some of us will do whatever it takes for money, fame, success, love and more! Placing ourselves in precarious situations that we have to dig ourselves out of. And some can't. Some have to endure the pain and the diabolical shame! Greed, narcissism, low self-esteem and not being cognitive of the decisions some of us may make. Leading ones self down a terrible path that now we have to face and cannot run from. What is more important? One must decide...your well being?....peace of mind?...or your soul?

Toy High
TM Just Toy Written Expressions 
Dramatic, riveting, touching, exciting, thought provoking, rich, compelling, page turner, serious, sincere, emotional, jaw dropping, truth, non-factional, deep, dichotomy, daring when all is said and done!  The adjectives that describe the short story filled book!

Thursday, March 26, 2015


Dramatic, riveting, touching, exciting, thought provoking, rich, compelling, page turner, serious, sincere, emotional, jaw dropping, truth, non-factional, deep, dichotomy, daring when all is said and done!  The adjectives that describe the short story filled book!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Friday, January 3, 2014


I sit back on my throne and watch new pussy act as if they have the best thing on the market! Silicone tiddays and silicone bootay you can have by getting some injections. Hair growing in unbelievable weaves and bounds! Eyelashes so long they can reach out and touch someone! Is it a plane? Is it a bird? Wait hold up it’s those too long fake eye lashes that have went too wrong! Some girls getting botox and silicone injections in their lips! And chicas think it’s cute to widen they hips! I can’t right now! And as I rule from a place high up in the stratosphere I see old azz chicks still sucking on dick! My mom use to say back in the day... “There will come a time when you will not be able to flip that dress tail” and look at em! Looking mad crae crae as they run the streets and sleep in between the sheets. Gray hairs on their azz and some pulling from their chinny chin chin. Staying up all night laying with every Tom Dick and John. Trying to run game like old pussy is better than young pussy cause they been in the game too long. But what old pussy doesn’t know is, once you were a treat and now you are just a trick! Just like men who once were the chase, of they gotta pay. Soon you will see that he may be hitting that right now. But that young pussy is on his arm! Please believe me! Look at young pussy as she spreads her legs and think her body and good looks gonna get her far! She walks by knowing men are looking. So she decides her wealth and knowledge are not in her talents but in her body! So of course she has that motto “Use what you got to get what you want” and as she sits alone she sees that she is truly not wanted nor loved. Only for the fake that she brings! Don’t know a real man want what every other man has had or can look at all the damn time! I thought I schooled you well! And old pussy still thinks the same that she can sell her shyt off to the highest bidder like she did back in the day. Are you kidding me? Your daze are numbered and now you gotta put up with more stuff to give your spoiled needy emotional needy attention azz what you were getting before. And trust all that creeping…that creep, creep, creep ain’t never got you nowhere! But I recall you got needs! Still looking like a two dollar hoar! Like Dr. Dre said “still” Old pussy is still acting like new young pussy! Experience is better in some cases I guess. But ain’t you learned nothing yet? With wisdom comes experience and experience comes knowledge and knowledge comes change. Guess a little piece of change must change something still in your life. And your knowledge ain’t your wealth; and maturity don’t have a part of your life. Well here is old pussy versus new pussy and I am one to tell you that I don’t have to sell my pussy short to get no attention or get my needs met or trying to make myself a two dollar trick. AIl seems as if some old pussy is trying to act like the young and restless of the new pussy that is used pussy and the new pussy is now old pussy that is still trying to act like new and young pussy! Wow! I don’t give a damn about fine young gorgeous and young pussy! Cause that shit get old! And fuk a damn cougar who still looks good and her pussy could be, maybe and should be ripe. But uh when she snatch that young game that young game still seems to go and be with all that young pussy! When will these young and old hoes waaaaaaaakkkkke up!!!!!! 1/2014 “Just Toy” Written Expressions

Monday, June 3, 2013


I be straight up hav'n some serious hellified pussy issues! I mean it. I don't understand the shit either! Do you? Maybe somebody out there can relate to what I'm say'n. I mean give me a holla. Or at least co-sign for a sista! Damn! It's like my pussy be hav'n me in some straight up precarious situations. It's like I be in the wrong bed, wit the wrong man, in the wrong room! And I already know in my head that's not what I really want. Pussy issues y'all! Real pussy issues! Like somebody please help me out. I mean like my eyes can see a fine ass man. Now my eyes see this, not my pussy. And my pussy be all in a mutha fuk'n bunch! Like it's call'n out to this fine ass man to come and satisfy it's cravings. Now what I don't understand, is how my pussy see what my eyes see? Impossible! Pussy issues y'all! I'm telling you. I be straight up having some serious up and down, turn around, don't fuck around pussy issues! Like sometimes I can wake up in the morning, and my pussy will start talking to me. How can my pussy talk to me and it don't have a voice? But It does, it really does! My pussy will tell me it needs to be rubbed, touched and caressed. Licked and sucked on. Now I wanna know who's running who? Is my pussy running me? Or am I running my pussy? Pussy issues y'all. Maybe I need to seek some damn help! Get some damn therapy! Cuzz I must be the only one going through this shit. I haven't had no other sista come and tell me she be having the same damn issues! Pussy issues got me twisted turned around, fucked up all around pussy issues! Now my pussy would loved to be loved, worshipped, licked, sucked and handled wit care. Oh don't sleep! Don't even take a catnap on it. But because of the troubles and mistakes my pussy got me into before. I got to control it, and it can't control me! So I had to make a decision y'all, a real major decision. I decided to rub my own pussy by myself. Keep that mutha under control. So when my pussy get ta look'n, and talk'n like it always does. I calm it all the way down! Pussy issues. And I will continue to rub my own pussy until I find the right man to rub it for me. Me, not my pussy. Cause when I find the right one. My pussy will cherish, love, and worship that special man when he comes along. Until then I gots ta keep my pussy on lock down and in control! Pussy issues y'all! Straight up and down turn around pussy issues! 05/20/01 "Just Toy" Written Expressions

Sunday, December 30, 2012


It is ironic how you are about something and then that something is not all of who and what you are really about? Like you can go to a lounge or eccentric bar and have a drink or two. But that can't put you in the group of being an alcoholic. My point is that some of us indulge in things that to an extent I would be a voyeur. Knowing this about myself, also know that there are some things I will and will not participate in, nor do I want to have any knowledge of what some do or go. My experiences with swinger life if you will fall very short to those who are inspired but this lifestyle to step in full throttle! I love seafood!! Oh my how I love seafood! Crab, lobster and shrimp I feel I could eat everyday! But in my right realistic mind I know that if I did I would quickly get tired of it and want to eat something else. As in the case with some that do and have swung in the lifestyle very hard and full on! I could not be a person that could swing for years on a consistent basis. Not to say that who does is wrong and that they have an issue. We all have issues and flaws in on way or another. But being apart of a community of swingers and going to hang out twice a month for years with a group and then invited to go to other parties, I don't know. It gets boring and tedious after awhile. Now that I am back in Atlanta because I had been gone for three years. I figured I would try and get my feet wet for a bit. Nothing too heavy! So I have a close friend of mine that I have been intimate with recently. I am not a fan of us, and the closeness of us bedding one another is a challenge. For me it is a challenge because so many issues and things that I didn't know about until I had come back. I will call him “Kevin” Kevin was a huge supporter of my parties when I gave them. And considered to be an open-mind candidate to watch and have sex in a group setting. We had discussed this many of times before we had gotten involved. I loved Kevin because all the tiny and large idiosyncrasies I had he understood. He also seemed to understand my prowess and my yearn to be free and adventurist. I loved and still do love him for that! My first intimate encounter occurred with Kevin the night before I left Atlanta. Wow! Three years of knowing Kevin and I had no clue that sex would be as great as it was under the circumstances we were in. The hopes of getting caught and not getting loud was also a huge factor for Kevin and I and it made it a bit more animalistic! Three and a half years go by and I come back and tried too many times to have what “we” wanted; a hot passionate steamy sex life. Not to be! Kevin is much younger than I and has major issues. Issues that I had no clue about! Let me back up and say this before I go further. I do not believe that a man/woman should have sex with anyone if they have physical, mental or emotional issues that will prevent them from performing decently in a sexual capacity. And yes Kevin had these issues. It was so hard for me to address Kevin as to why he could not maintain an erection, why he kept trying over and over and over again to get one and yet make himself look bad and on my end grow increasingly tired of his issue. I no longer wanted to be with Kevin in this way any longer. What was the point? So After a few, which are a lot to me. Kevin and I are and will be only friends like we were before the sex. When I left for a five week personal and business trip in California I could not lay down with Kevin and be intimate with him in anyway because I knew that I would be disappointed. When we finally got to the meat and bones of his issue Kevin told me that when he was under emotional and mental distress it effected him sexually and his performance and he could not maintain an erection. So my question was or is, “Why keep having or wanting sex with me?” To keep me frustrated and agitated? I assume that was the reason! So now it made sense to me! Kevin did not have sex at my parties because he was inadequate in the bedroom! Though he told me long ago it was him just coming to support me. He wasn't about that life. Now fast forward. Kevin told me that he would love to go to some parties with me. Really? A man that has feelings for a woman wants to see her get done by another man? Will I test this theory? Of course I will! Kevin has been wanting to have sex with me since I got back, and I don't have the kind of insurance! I mean lets give it a break! You are still under duress and saying you're not (Kevin) and what will be the excuse this time. So in the new year we will adventure out into the world and see what happens. I bet you this much! He will not enjoy himself! How can a man of his situation do so? So be on the look out! Because the sexapades of the rich, famous and not so famous of swingers will begin! Rather I go just to hang out or rather I participate! There are a lot of Erotic City stories to be told! To be continued soon!...