EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE EPISODE THE DIRTY-DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE 12

I do apologize for the lateness in episode twelve. I seem to have my hands in so much with writing and so much more. However when we last met up I was speaking on Officer Dix who had actually taken a woman into a life that she knew nothing about and now she is full fledged into a world that I am sure she didn't think of coming into.

For some people that get into the erotic side of life to me or tortured in some way or another. Now I am not saying that if you like having sex you have an issue. But some people think being urinated on, defecated on, tying someone up and beating them, wearing women s clothing and prostituting (men) there is nothing wrong with it. But when you have men that say they are heterosexual and are not and have some eerie ways about them and people who love sex are literally down-low sexual deviants. There is some cause for a person to be a little leery.

I am now going to tell a story of a woman who has now left Atlanta and moved to Los Angeles. She lived in California and had a very non-committed relationship with her husband whom in my opinion she should have never married. However I knew there was a curiosity in being with women. So at the time of her living in Cali she was considered bi-curious. I was not attracted to her in that way to want to sleep with her. She was a very good friend of mine. But her nose was open from being around me and others who at that time associated with lesbians. I still at this present time in my life may judge and may not judge of what flavors people like and dislike when it comes to sex or a partner. For I am not the ultimate judge of character. But I can agree to disagree. However in my life I have had and known people of many walks and what they do and don't do behind close doors at the end of the day is not my business and does not make me say “ I cannot longer befriend you because you do things sexually that I don't do” no! I am merely stating that what people do and don't do doesn't bother me unless it effects me personally.

I shall call this woman “Sheila” Sheila was caught up mentally and emotionally with the travails of her marriage that she had decided to make a move to Atlanta and she lived there for eight years. And this is where the sexual beast in her came out! Sheila was now more of a party animal than ever. She attended swinger parties that were held on the outskirts of Atlanta and come to find out that a close friend of hers that she had been knowing for years was bi. Not only was she bi, but her husband was also into swinging. Thus began the intimate affair of Sheila, her best friend and husband in many threesomes and swinger parties. Sheila got so wrapped up in this lifestyle that she found men in bars and clubs that she wanted to experience many sexual escapades with. One in particular was with her boyfriend at the time. They went into a club and Sheila picked up a man and brought him home to have sex with while her boyfriend hid in the closet and watched. This later on became a problem for him because he later on began to stalk her and threaten her physically, verbally and emotionally because of her open affairs and swinging lifestyle. Swinging can be a dangerous game! I have met men and women who were so deep in this game with drugs and open sex that jealousy reared its ugly head and drugs took a toll on their bodies.

Imagine if you are a man and you have had sex with so many women that you cannot obtain a hard-on! I have witnessed some men who wanted a woman so bad and couldn't get it up and their frustration turned into rage! Constantly pulling at their private to MAKE it get hard by wating others have sex. And to no avail they stay flaccid.

By the time that Sheila had left Atlanta not because she wanted to but because she had to for a certain family member that needed help. She was so open that she destroyed relationships with very close people because there were no boundaries for her. You cannot expect all of the people you know for years in your life to be open-minded to the choices that you make. When Sheila had come on to me we were coming from a friends home she went to school with. She wanted me to go to her house first before dropping me off to my home. Can a woman rape a woman? To this day I am not quite sure of that. But I do know that I was placed in a very precarious situation with her. Why did I need to come to her house when she would be passing up my home to get to hers? With her child in the backseat Sheila was driving and had reached over and put her hand down my top! I had been knowing Sheila since we were kids and for me this was a shock and she was hurting me by pinching on my breast so hard. I looked over at her and removed her hand and told her that it wasn't nice to do that especially having her child in the backseat who was wide awake! She stopped and I told her to take me home. She didn't, she drove to her home. When she got out of the car, I sat there and told her I would wait for her. She bid me to come in saying that it would not take long, she wanted to smoke a joint. I figured she was doing this to get some courage. So while she put her child to bed because it was late, she had poured a drink and had rolled a joint. I refused both, I was tired, edgy and my heart was beating fast because I was not comfortable. One drink ended very quickly and a second drink was poured. She kept offering and I kept refusing. Let me pause here, I have been around men who have done this very thing to me before and I was nervous and scared. Being a victim of rape and molestation you can feel the evil of a set up. And to me this was indeed a set up. I had mentioned to Sheila that if she kept drinking she would not be able to drive me home. Which I might add was no more than fifteen minutes away from where she lived. And just like that as she got up from the couch and went into her bathroom and came out she was all over me! Sheila is not a small woman at all! She was groping me and trying to get my clothes off as I tried to resist her, her weight and force were beginning to wear me down. Once she got the picture that I didn't want to be intimate with her in no way whatsoever her feelings were hurt! And because of this incident we are no longer friends. Twenty years plus of a friendship ruined! See the oxymoron thing about being bi, open sexually or swinging does not mean that you wantto be that way with everyone in that journey. For some that do, that sleep with any and everyone and not because of sexual attraction there has to be something psychologically wrong with them. Would one want to sleep with an unkempt man or woman who sleeps in alleys just to have sex? I think not. Of course I am not speaking of someone addicted to drugs, that is a whole other story.

We are who we are and experience things that we want to because there are thoughts that have been implanted by others, what we have seen, read and what has happened to us in our past lives. I can honestly say that being raped an molested opened up the doors for me being highly sexual. I didn't take the I am scared of men and don't want to have sex side. No I ran to any and every man that would have me! (within reason no bums or addicts or men who were not attractive sexaully) Which now brings me to the many down-low men in Atlanta. Though I have spoken many times on this subject in the Erotic Cities Episodes I can't say it enough. Because of this sexual liberation which is no longer kept in the closet by America. I feel it is unfair to those who are heterosexual (women) and they meet a man who they think are heterosexual as well and they have strong desires to be with men as well. And in the erotic city you have many women who know that their husbands or partners are bi-sexual and they live out these fantasies in threesomes and bi-sexual orgies so that they can keep their man. Is this erotic? Or is this now a sickness? Or is this some seedy event that has happened in the past of someone that because they maybe were molested or raped by a man that they now have sexual desires to be with men? Or were they feeling men and women ever since they were adolescent? Many questions right?

This now brings me to “Donald” a man who I can say was all man and loved women and was a strong man inside and out. Nothing about him told me that he could be with a man in any way whatsoever, but some of the things that Donald requested or was turned on by led me to believe that there was some moment in his past that he had experienced a man sexually, and this bothered me because he was not being truthful. Needless to say that we ended our affair. Maybe I had turned Donald out sexually where he felt he could open up to some “new adventures” with me. But wearing a strapped phallus was not a desire of mine, I on no way wanted to have anal sex with him, that is me doing him!

Well my time is up again! And next we will venture a little into Holly weird. But will the adventures be as wild as Atlanta? Stay tuned for episode 13!

Toy High
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE 11

In the last episode (ten) I left off speaking of Will, a man of oddity to most as well as myself. However you must understand this. I drew people to me like moths to flames and bees to honey and my persona is still of such that I draw people to me. And Will felt that it was safe and also felt very comfortable with telling me his inner secrets and about the demons that tortured him on a daily basis. For most people even those who stepped out of the box sexually thought that Will was a “freak” I had my own ideas of him, but I tried not to judge Will.

When Will Grabbed his Janis backpack he had placed inside it condoms, and a contraption to make ones penis big and hard. I had seen these penis pumps before but I had never ever met anyone who had actually used them. I thought this was for the men who really had a small penis and for men who were in the porn industry. When they had to prepare themselves for a scene and couldn’t get it up. I don’t know, cock ring yes, penis pump no!

I asked Will why did he feel the need to use it. His response was that he had used it before he had performed his male exotic shows. And that to me set off an alarm! He was not “performing” these shows as he use to. And so now this device had become addictive to him and was the only way that he could achieve an erection. Shaking my head at this, our union was not a successful one at all! And for me was not worth my time or his! Though I cannot say that he was nervous or intimidated I would say that Will was a man that I knew in my heart of hearts was majorly dysfunctional in many ways, and I will tell you why.

Will and I did not continue our “friendship” because of his sexual dysfunction or some of his sick fantasies but because of his attitude negative attitude. But I am moving too fast in the story.

Will had began to tell me some of his deep seeded issues as time went along. One was that he loved his music and he made a very nice living off of it, producing music for commercials, movies and websites. I was astonished at some of the music he made and quite impressed. From world music, classical, jazz he produced it all.

Will was heavy into church and played drums he spoke of how important it was to meet a woman who loved God and put him first while Will smoked and drank heavily and used other drugs. Will had also told me that he needed a woman who was very open sexually and met his needs when it came to sex. Such as swinging, ménage a trios’, and the big one that had taken me for a real loop was he wanted a woman to put a strap on and give him anal sex and he said he was not gay! I seriously questioned this matter, why would a straight man let a woman pretend to be a man and have “fake” anal sex with him? Had he had it with a man before? Or had he had a woman perform this to him many times before? I was confused as he was and I didn’t ask! It seemed that Will had wanted a lot of sexual favors and also wanted to experience a lot of things but was not heavy into a lot of things. Very oxymoron if I say so myself! Now before I say this, I do NOT want any emails whatsoever sent to me. But there have been some men that have told me a lot of strange things go on behind close doors with frat brothers. That is not to say that all men who join fraternities are gay, bi-sexual or down-low! But some stories I have heard in regards to this alerted me to men who join fraternities and some of the things they do to get in them and be apart of them. I mean we can say that when men/women go to college they experience a lot of things (sexually) that they didn’t do or knew about until they went away to school. And the funny thing about all of this was his frat brother whom he was very close to and would do ANYTHING for and came over to his house on a regular. It wasn’t to me anything that got me, they shared women, money, sex and whatever else and his best frat brother was married!

Will got stranger and stranger by the moment. It was his constant belittling of me that made me cut him off. He felt his talent was way above mine and what I did meant literally nothing! I of course didn’t want any sexual relationship with Will once I found out all his dirty secrets, for me he was a confused dysfunctional little boy! And that was my opinion but I never told him you are sick and need help! That was not my place. I mean that he was confused about his life and expected a whole lot from others and he couldn’t give that same respect at times he was too raw with his candor. It also offended many colleagues of mine when he asked them “weird” things. I could no longer take up for Will.

When I had found someone to date, it was then that Will had started coming back by. Or shall I say wanted to come by my home and it was then his jealousy and insecurity came out to play. I hadn’t talked to Will in a year and once we caught up with each other. His deep seeded fantasies and sexual prowess have increased and now he is “mad” that he can no longer find a woman to satisfy his needs.

I am sure there will be a lot of people that will agree with me that when you work in a very large office, (sometimes it really doesn’t matter) that there is a lot of flirting, sexing and many marital affairs! I have seen this in many offices but never to the echelon I had experienced in the A. As I said earlier in previous episodes of ATL office romance, cheating and drama were in full effect and the women were hard up to have a man it didn’t matter if he was married or had a live-in girlfriend or in a relationship of some sort nothing was off limits!

A married man by the name of Chad wore his wedding ring with pride and any company event he brought his wife. Chad flirted with any and every young woman to older women. As long as you were a woman! Chad had affairs with many of the women in the office. And at first when I met Chad I thought he was a very attractive man! He was training the new recruits at first until he moved over into another department. I took Chad for a very low-key guy not out and about roaming as he was. Chad was a comedian and this “9-5” was just his means to an end until he “made it big” I saw as Chad caused drama on the low and almost got caught and about to lose his job because he was doing things with fellow employees he should not be. Smoking weed, drinking, hanging out, clubbing. See once he had made it to supervisor it was told that you could no longer fraternize with the employees. This was in their handbook! After being at the job for two years I succumbed to the madness. Matter of fact Chad came to the parties I threw!!!! And had sex with one of the employees that was there!!!! Wedding ring on and all and asked me would I join the both of them!! I asked Chad why he cheated on his wife; he said “I don’t think of it as cheating. I am faithful to her” Huh? (Scratching side of my head)

There were people that had sex in their cars in front/directly in front of the office management’s window and some of the supervisors were engaging in this same way on lunch breaks in the parking lot in front of security cameras!! And I know this because they got caught and fired!!! Were people that hot? That horny where they had to have sex in the parking lot of their job not even twenty feet from the front door? Whoo! Overwhelming!!

I had met two cops in ATL and one of them I got very close with. I will refer to one as Officer B. Dix. Officer Dix was a man that was so deep and caught in the sexual world that I personally thought he may have lost sight of being a cop. I know that may not make sense but you could call him on his cell at either two jobs he had and he was ready for “pillow talk”

I had met Officer Dix at an adult party. He had brought his “new girlfriend” to the party. His girlfriend was friendly and very nice, I could also tell that she was a woman that was very very blunt and she I soon found out later was very insecure. Here was a lady in my opinion that didn’t have anything to worry about as far as looks wise and body wise. If I had her height and looks I would be galloping down a runway! “Tracy” told to me by Office Dix was that he had a lifestyle in which he was not walking away from and if she wanted to be with him she had to flow with it. Now let me first give you some background on Tracy. She had been sexually, mentally, emotionally and physically abused from her parents to her husbands and family members. These were some of the people that took advantage of her love, body, kindness and when I simply just say she had problems, No she really had problems. And she also had serious health problems!!!

Officer Dix told me that he had taken her to a couple of places, (as I told you before there were a lot of legal clubs that hosted swinger parties just as if you were going to a regular dance club) that he was having “patience” with her and that she was working on it. Now when you are sexually abused, emotionally and mentally abused a huge portion of those people have that “learned behavior syndrome” is what I call it. If you have witnessed your parents fighting a lot of times you will find yourself in the same dysfunctional relationship. Being hit, yelling, fighting; this is normal. Also for some who have been sexually abused run to sex full throttle and have a very promiscuous sex life. And so was the case with Tracy.

Tracy I could tell wanted to and didn’t want to do this at the same time. Her experience this night was having sex with another woman, well not fully. Her boyfriend and “Chuck” Can you imagine three people coming at you all at the same time? Interesting I know there have been super orgy scenes in porn but her breakout role was overwhelming! And as I was told much later on Tracy did not enjoy or was attracted to women.

Tracy a lot of times was very pensive when it came to watching Officer Dix have sex with someone else, and she enjoyed going to the parties (the ones I gave) but not the ones that were dark, gloomy and you were being stalked. At that time it was my hustle and I gave kid-adult parties with themes, games, light and laughter! You had a choice, and there was security at my gatherings when I really got started.

It was time going forth that Officer Dix seemed to push and push Tracy into more and more illicit behavior. I had a rapport with each of them (friendship only) more so with Officer Dix who at one point said he “loved” her and wanted to marry her making this his third marriage as well as hers. But the “swinging” was his carte blanche to being with other women. But he would not “cheat” on her with another woman unless she knew about it. You cannot have a relationship (my opinion) in the swinger-ism if you have an insecure girlfriend/boyfriend.

Officer Dix pursued me while I turned away and told him you love her. He wanted to be with me lots of times. I could not get involved with that mellow drama at all! Officer Dix had no idea of what he was “creating” He felt that all of this was for his needs and his needs only. As time went by more and more he wanted to attend these sex parties and more and more it was mentally and emotionally hurting Tracy. All the while he pushed the more Tracy was happy to have a man in her life that she felt “loved” her sincerely. But this was not so, he then later told her they needed, again “they” needed a girlfriend. And so it was they were now on the hunt. They found one and her real sexual experience with two women and her boyfriend at the same time she enjoyed and was now getting very close to the new “girlfriend” because they had a lot in common!

It was now that Tracy had begun to go to parties by herself without Officer Dix, and she went to these parties with the girlfriend when she came in town or hooked up with others she had met along the way. Tracy was hooked, and Officer Dix had now gotten tired of the scene he had been in for three years! You see Officer Dix was sick with cancer and did not know it as of yet so he was always tired.

As Tracy was sick with Lupus and could no longer work Officer Dix was taking care of her and had grew tired and they never got married, he wanted her to move out of his home they had together. It took her three months to move out and as soon as she did, she now was a “lesbian” and had a girlfriend and back to work. I told Officer Dix this was all his doing, his fault as he relayed the information to me about her.

Well my time is up again!!! I must go, but I will of course catch you on the 12th episode of Erotic Cities!!

Toy High
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE 10

I now have to come back to a time and a space of which I have forgotten a lot! I mean because a lot of times we don’t want to hold on to a lot of things. Why should we? If we had a recollection of each and every thing that went on in our lives I believe we would truly go crazy and lose what faculties we do have. I had stopped for a period of time writing only because it had flooded me with good and bad. But I am back 2yrs later to finish what I started, my story on how I seen ATL and what I did, and how my part played in the vicious circle of The Flip-Side!

When I left off I was speaking on “Mark” a young man that was very persistent in getting to “know me” which was just sex only. One thing I can say about ATL there are a lot of people (not all) that are “fronting” that they have life and love money, men and women all in the back of their pocket. And for a selective few this was true! But for a lot it wasn’t, if people had a gotten a bad taste in their mouths about Cali saying that the people are “all plastic” then so goes it for ATL. Just as Cali you had a lot of people who were very plastic, lived or showed you a life that was far from the truth. When I met people I could see that they were sharp well put together dressers. And then when you went to their home or around people whom were close to them it all told a different story! That was “I really don’t have a lot, I don’t and barely have money and holding on to a weak job. And all the connects I said I have are really not feeling me.” A mouth full huh? Again this was not everyone, but how can one tell if you are meeting a sleuth of people and they claim to be “the one” you should get to know and have.

I had finally given Mark a good final no! That I was not the woman he thought I was and he couldn’t tap, hit, have, lay any of this here! I was beginning to feel as if I didn’t sleep with Mark that he would rape me! How could a young man as fine as him be so hard up that he would feel he had to “take anything from me? Hey rapist come in all shapes and sizes, good looks bad looks money fame and non famous and broke!

I had managed to get Mark off of me and I could not stay at his home any longer, it was getting late and I was tired of going back and fourth. I had no car at this time and the trains had already stopped running. So I had to stay the night, for some odd reason I had thought that Mark would be a selective few where I would not have stayed or hung out with Mark at all. It is like ATL had you under a spell of sorts. Like some people just stayed in this catatonic heat!

I left Marks house bright and early run down because I didn’t get any sleep. Had I had a car I would have been able to get home but due to the fact that we didn’t get to his home after 11p.m. and we caught a cab. Mark did not want to see me leave and was begging me to stay and that he was sorry the way he acted. But I wasn’t, I now knew where and how I would place him in my life.

The hardest thing I cannot understand is a person who does not understand the word no! And it was Mark that kept texting for almost a week and not getting a response from me. He was persistent!!!! And ignoring him was not working! Then it became begging!! I could see how many women were turned off, but the once fresh clean cut young man I had met had now turned into a desperate stalker! And as many women as there were here in ATL why was he pressing me so hard? Then there was the apologizing and me turning him down saying we could not talk, call, text or anything and that seemed to make matters worse after the insistent calls and texting that he was being ignored.

It was down to the wire and we were about to hear who are president would be. And a shock to a lot of people that we had our first Black African-American president! Mark was at my home when it was announced and so was my daughter there in tow. My daughter thought that Mark was boring, see-thru, and didn’t have much character and she didn’t like him. The only thing that saved Mark and let him come over was the fact he had “brought gifts” After we had all hung out sipped wine, I was tired very tired so we all turned in for bed. Mark was told that he was to sleep in the living room me in my room and my daughter in her room whom said she had locked the door. Again it was around early morning that Mark comes into my room and asks me could he “have some” I told him no. Of course this was my fault, but for the life of me I could not figure out why he was so desperate to have sex with me, why was he so pressed and couldn’t he have chosen another woman? But I had begun to think that Mark was this desperate stalker! I only had him over because he “Promised” to be cool and that how he was acting wasn’t him he just found me so damn sexy and attractive! Really? Not buying it! Mark had made three attempts in my room and I had put him out! That was that, and I had to literally put “do not answer” on my phone where his name should or would have been. He joined several others who had begun to be stalkers!

It was later on while doing some marketing and promoting for my site that I had come across a man whom I thought (again) would be really cool. He just so happened to live about fifteen minutes away. Born in the same month with both of us having soooo much in common. Sense of humor, and we shared a lot of the same views. While we chatted and chatted and my daughter had chatted we invited him to come by. Of course your first impression of someone most times seems to be a good impression. Because they give you good face of course. I know now but I had no idea that “Will” was attracted to me or wanted a relationship with me or felt I was the only one who could relate to him. I find that odd, but I found this out after I had ditched him and he had seen me on chat and came in to chat with me. But that is far into the story which I don’t want to get into now.

I did learn and very quickly I may add that Will was a huge eccentric in the sexual arena. However I also found out that Will had a lot of dysfunctional issues that spewed over into his personal, mental and emotional life. So much in fact it confused him about love, relationships and what he should and shouldn’t be doing in his life.

Will first and foremost had gotten a bad rep. I had met a couple of people who actually knew and met him and did not bite their tongue in what they had to say about him! My mouth was open wide with the info I heard!

First Will did so much! He was a producer (a job he really did have making and selling music for advertisers- I was impressed) then on the side he was a male exotic performer, Will was a huge exhibitionist! He loved being naked and showing his body. This was his first vice. Though he didn’t have a bad body, but he didn’t have a muscular body one you would expect a male performer to have. Next was Will had all of these explosive and explicit sexual fantasies spinning in his head, too many in fact for him to be able to cipher and work on one at a time. And the next thing was Will thought of sex or had sex on the brain most of the day. There was always someone he was pursuing.

One thing Will had told me was that he use to help throw swinger parties with his frat brothers, so he says it was about money and he never got into the sexual side of it but all and still he threw these parties. He said he would perform at them (male exotic shows) he also was sort of I guess you could say a man Madame. He seemed to have frat brothers that were married so he would always FIND a woman for them to hook up with to have sex. And he also provided his home for some raucous behavior. He loved watching he told me, “I just can’t sleep with any and everybody” This was really not the root of the problem. I later found out that Will had many more issues.

Will had asked me to do some pretty way out stuff for a person who had just met me. He asked me to call a few of my GF’s and ask if we could drive over there homes, honk the horn and have them come outside and be a judge to rather he had a big penis or not. (Confused) I had tilted my head to the side when I had heard this request. Who does this? Who would think like this? Can you imagine someone honking a horn, you come outside and judge what a man/woman’s private looks like and then go back in the house? I told him that I would not call any of my associates with such non-sense and I didn’t know anyone who would do that. I told him that he needed to ask his friends. He said that he has done that already. So I am sitting here thinking how much more validation do you need about how big or small you are? Of course I had not seen it, but he had told me that he was happy with it and that because he wanted to extend his audience more and start dancing in clubs. And that there were a lot of men that danced in ATL as male performers. Now you must understand that these men stripped down to nothing! And I can surely tell you that they do not do that in the clubs in Cali unless you are having a “private party”

So you see Will had told me that there were men whom he knew were larger than he was and from what I gathered he was intimidated. Really? So then I started thinking. And my thinking went many different ways! Was Will gay or down-low?

Will had asked me to do many crazy off the wall things that were very peculiar to me. He had asked me if I would have sex with his married frat brother because his wife was not giving him the type of sex he wanted (oral) and the women whom he had been with were all “low-life’s” and gave him a hard time. But I was a mature well rounded woman whom he believed I would be perfect and that I would get paid every time we had sex. Of course that was a no!!! And I was also asked if we all three could have sex, and if I would have sex with his frat brother and he watch!!! Now of course Will told me that his frat brother was asking him to ask me! He had left his business card with me, which I clearly tore up. I felt they were both at the center of it in my opinion.

It was one day that Will had asked me if we could have sex together, at this point and time I hadn’t been with anyone in over a month. The lover I had was having major ex-wife issues, child support, money, and job and home issues. And it was not going to work out at all.

I was shocked that Will had got his Janis backpack and low and behold inside of it he had put a……

My time is up, but hopefully you will catch up with me again for the 11th episode of Erotic Cities the Flip-side…. I am back giving you the full skimmy!

06/2011
Just Toy
Written Expressions

SEXUAL WARFARE WITH YOUR OWN BODY

Have we all forgotten about what is really important in life? Or are we all seeking the “quick fixes?” I believe we are! In a world that has the “hurry up and come get it and order it now you can have it fast technology” YES!!! So many damn new devices to get a quick fix. And the internet is one of them! Am I on it now? Of course I am! We are so lustful that we get on the net to get many things for ourselves. Let me break down a list for you:
A. Dating
B. Love
C. Marriage
D. Sex (this should have been number one!)
E. Friends
F. Cult organizations
G. Religious organizations
H. Jobs
I. News
J. Gossip
K. Shopping
L. Pedophilia (sick-o’s)
M. Moochers
N. Murderers
O. Con-artist
P. Sports
Q. Politics
R. TV shows
And the list goes on and on!

Right now I am going to focus on the sexual device (which is not the only lust in the world) so many people use this as the hurry up and buy quick drug! I recall when you could only seek a prostitute on the street or had to call an escort service. Now you can join millions of chat rooms, swinger organizations, swinger & orgy loose sex men and women who could care less if they get “sick dick” or not. (Venereal disease) And the funny thing (not in a ha ha way) is I have talked to many people in this genre and they (some) practice safe sex but don’t practice safe “oral” sex!! (I have the duh look on my face right now) Being bi-sexual is now the new heterosexual for a lot of people. (Notice I do not say all, most or everyone) Sex like food is an addiction and a real quick high!

I started writing on Erotic Cities the Flip-Side in 2006 figuring out the sex liaisons’ of two totally different cities because the attitudes were so different in both cities and states. Here I thought that people in California were a step above in a lot of areas because of the major cities that dwelled in the state, and to my wake up call it is the complete opposite! Though there is seedy and shady sexual discourse going on all over the world. California (in some locales or cities) is on the back burner and down low. (No comparison to the sexually down-low man who secretly sleeps with gay men) While yes sex bright lights and beach beauties are described in Hollywood as a lure and promoted. But when I lived on the east coast and visited the east coast I found that they were more advanced! Wow! Can this be true? A state or city that is more sexually promiscuous than another? Why yes! And some countries are too!

So I am amazed how you can Google by just typing in a few words in the search engine of what it is you seek for that quick sexual lustful high! Can a child click on “yes” they are 18yrs and older to get to these sites? Of course because the internet can’t ask you to show some ID now can it? Hmmmmm…..

Every place I have roamed I have been approached with some sexual advance. And here are these “people” willing too hook up over the net and hang out for sex. Uh do killers get on these sites to find their next victims? Um let me think about that….. (Jeopardy music playing) Well yes they do!!! Duh! Dammit I need you (some of you) to wake up! Rapists troll these sites as well. So sex to me is no longer dangerous because you could get AIDS, VD, Herpes or any other disease known to mankind for having illicit unprotected sex! You can now die instantly because this person has a fetish of having sex with you and then killing you! Too much!!

I have said to some men that have approached me via being on the east coast because I was not accustomed to such raw straight up out of the direct gate can I hit that now and come home with me ASAP. It was done with a bit more decorum. Soooo I had to get smart, I had to be direct and say, “You don’t even know me. You do not know if I have AIDS or any form of VD. If I am the type of person that would drug you and set you up. Yet you are willing to come home with me and have sex” The look on their faces! Priceless.

Now in any of these blogs have I professed to be holier than thou. I have changed a lot and I am a happily married woman. Who had to learn that sex is a drug. That it is accustomed for some to use it as such for money and power. For depression and anger, to get back at someone who has hurt them and place themselves in a precarious situation.

Can lust me placed on ice? Are we all that selfish that we need to feed our sexual desires that we are willing to put ourselves in precarious situations just for the sake of it?? IDK …. Don’t shoot the messenger… I’m just saying…

Well my time is up, but next time I speak on the erotic cities in the small hick southern no more than 1,500 people town and will tell you how they do it!! SMH

05/2011

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE TEN

In episode eight I was recollecting my experiences with those whom I have come across in Atlanta. Because I worked in the world at one time of marketing and promotions. I was very good with coming up with all these fun and creative ways to catch peoples attention, and I used it to my advantage. Understand I am a great sales person, and I know how to capture the attention of other’s. So in doing this my parties as I have stated before were not your run of the mill parties.

RECOLLECTION THREE

My first party that I gave I had invited some people from my job. Why not? I didn’t want to see them perform, I wanted the money. There was a lady that worked at my job whom I will call “Freda” Freda sold adult toys, she called herself a consultant. And with this I thought that I would give her a party, this was actually my first “swinger party” which did not start off that way. But ended up that way, and little did I know that Freda was a huge player in the game of “free sex” I mean I knew she had to be pretty much uninhibited about her sexual freedom if she sold adult toys. What shyness can you bring to the table selling adult toys? I knew that she had a relationship with a man there at the company we had worked at. And funny, he had ventured to my party.

I had invited another young lady who sold lingerie, she never showed up. There also was my bartender who also was a masseuse. I wanted people to come to my parties and make money just like me. Why not?

Freda I had later found out was in an adulterous affair with one of the supervisors at the job. I will call him “Sam” Sam was married and very loose with himself but claimed that he loved his wife and had no intentions of leaving his wife. Sam also risking his job at the company could careless if he was caught up in sex with the employees or spending time with the employees outside of work. Which was against company policy for anyone who was a supervisor or higher up to have any relationships with anyone outside of work? Unless work related.

This was a masquerade party; it was around the time of Mardi gras in New Orleans. Freda had totally forgotten what she was there to do, she asked me what and how she should sell her product. I told her that was her business to figure and ingenious way to sell her goodies.

However Freda was now acting as if she was not there to make money, and I seen the side of her that was wide open with lust. I felt that she was there to handle business not participate at any party. But she took it upon herself to have fun and not make money. This is what I meant and seen so many times here. No, not all men and women placed sex over money. But most tended to get caught up with sex first, money and power last. Sex was at the top echelon of madness and acceptance. Not only was her former lover there, but there was also an ex employee there of the company, her ex-lover whom she still flirted with heavily, and then Sam.

Now Freda had totally forgot as I had stated that she was there to make money. Money first, fun last. But as people had begun to adjourn upstairs to the illicit fun. I was downstairs talking to those at the party that did not come and have sex, but just to fill the party out and see what was so different about mines. And trust everyone had a great time with the entertainment I provided. It was like being on “The Price Is Right” we had kiddy fun in an adult way.

Well as I was seeing some of my guest out of my house, Freda had made her way upstairs. And as I was talking to one of my best friends, Freda comes half way down the stairs saying that she needed to speak to me. So as I excused myself from my best friend I was speaking with. She had told me that behind the door that was closed Sam was waiting for me to come and watch. But I knew better, Sam wanted me to participate. And guess what? I did not want to participate and I did not want to have the image of Freda and Sam in my head. Nope, so I told Freda, “Let me go and say good-bye to my guest” This seemed to excite her. But far from me being excited. Again, if and when I did things of that nature it was away from people that I seen, spoke, or spent time with.

My best friend had gone upstairs and had asked me if I was going to come upstairs to see what was going on. And just as I have stated that I didn’t want to have that image in my head. I told him the same thing, and told him to knock himself out. And he told me that Freda was the wildest one doing many things with many men and women. Later she was invited by a couple that attended my party to come and give her and her man a show before he was shipped back out to Iraq. It was video taped, the threesome was. And to be honest with you and myself. I wouldn’t have placed her on that level. It was my best friend who had brought the couple she had later on went to their home that same week and performed sexually for the camera.

RECOLLECTION FOUR

I never been too much of a gambler. But when I have gone to Vegas I would always play the slot machines. That was about it, I did see the real and true gamblers play for sport, luck, pleasure and some were addicted.

And when players got on the crap table and rolled the dice and crapped out it was not a pretty sight. I give this example because I feel as if the men, some of them roll the dice with the women here. They go from woman to woman and roll the dice, and if you keep rolling those dice you eventually will win. This is the hope that the gamblers have. They will keep playing and playing until they win the big money. Well here in Atlanta the men keep gambling on the women. They go and throw their lines to as many women as they can. With some of them saying the same line, and some of them hitting on four to five different women. And a lot of them do it right in your face.

“Jerry” Was once a trainer that soon was promoted to a supervisor. From the moment I was hired at the company he hit on me all the time. And Jerry was very forward, he hid nothing back. He was a married young man, him being in his early-thirties. Maybe thirty-three or so and I was 39 at the time. Jerry expressed how he wanted to have sex with me. He always complimented me, always came by my desk and would heavily flirt with me and keep a straight face. He asked me if I had on panties, would I show him what “it” looked like. He told me that he loved my mouth and smile, legs, asked me did I have big nipples.

Jerry was always making sexual advances towards me. Why did I not report him you may ask? Because here in Georgia it does not look good to be terminated for sexual harassment. And it does go on your record, when I got tired and it was too much I would tell Jerry to back off. Or I would give him “the face” Jerry did this the whole time that I was employed at the company. There was no giving up. And we have had many conversations about why does he try so hard, why does he have to have me. And that I know he hits on a lot of the women here right in my face. We had conversations of his wife and him wanting children. “I figure if I keep asking eventually you will give in.” If someone asks me to leave their home, I will never come back. If someone asked me not to call them again. I will not. For me it is just that simple! Rejection is not something that I take hard from a man at all. It doesn’t bother me. However I am not the type of person that will be persistent and stalk anyone. Or even for that matter worry someone’s nerves.

Jerry felt as if this was the thing to do, that gambling. Throwing the dice all the time he would eventually hit the seven or eleven and not crap out. Jerry was an all around nice person to talk to. So a lot of the times when he came on to me, I just would ignore him majority of the time.

Jerry offered me rides home from work at times. And on the one time he first offered me a ride. There was a co-worker who as well asked for one. Stating that she didn’t live far from me, “Shelly” was from New York, Harlem USA. And she was a very aggressive and blunt young girl in her early twenties. She had the mouth of a sailor and was scared of no man or woman. I had told Shelly that Jerry wanted to take me home. And that I was glad that she was riding because I did not want Jerry to hit on me. She said, “Yeah he does hit on you real hard. And every other ”

Jerry asked if we all wanted to have drinks after work because we all had gotten off work very early. Jerry could careless of following that company policy. Which I have already spoke upon. Jerry had rolled up some marijuana, and took us to Applebee’s. I was slightly on edge because I already knew what Jerry was thinking. He was going to take Shelly home first and then take me home last. I was already a step ahead of him. As I asked Shelly of she wanted to step outside and take a smoke with me, she said okay. So as I was smoking my Dajuram Black, I stated. “I do not want Jerry to take me home first. I’m going to have him take me home first and then take you home last.” “No problem. I understand.” And we moved on.

Well I did exactly just that, I guided him to my home first. And as I said thank you and bid my ado. I realized I had messed up bad. For one, Jerry knew where I lived. And two, Jerry was going to come right back over here when he dropped Shelly off at home. And even before I could take my clothes off, Jerry had called me and told me that he was at my front door sitting in his car. Could he come in and talk to me. I knew that this was going to happen, and yes I invited him in. He sat down, complimented my home. And then I spoke up, telling Jerry that he was married and that I did not date or sleep with married men. He told me he understood, and he asked for a hug, and said he would leave. The hug went quickly into a kiss he had placed on me fast. And my lips parted and I got swept up. Pulled back, and told him he had to leave. Yes I was attracted to Jerry because Jerry was they epitome of man I would date had he been single. But he was married, and he and I worked at the same company.

Jerry’s hands were all over my body, and he made me feel all tingly inside. Pulse racing heart beating erratic. It was a sin and my lust for him had me weak. He had to go; I could not spiral into this decline. There was absolutely no future in this or with him. And after all of that, he still rolled those dice, he still tried me. And I would lie if I were to say it was easy because it was not. I was strongly attracted to Jerry.

Time had gone by, more than six months and Jerry was able to drop me off from work another time. He had not hit on me for awhile; I was not feeling so uptight about him bringing me home. And one reason was my then boyfriend was waiting for me at my home.

The third time Jerry brought me home; he asked me could he watch the game because it was on. And yes it was the NBA Play-offs. I am a basketball fan and the Detroit Pistons were in the NBA Eastern Conference Play-offs. My youngest daughter was home. And I knew there would be nothing going on. And no lines were crossed.

When I thought it was safe to come out of the water. Jerry ups and comes onto me when he came to a dinner party I had given at my home. He caught me off guard in my kitchen he walked up behind me, his private being hard and pressing against me. I quickly turned around and told him “no”

RECOLLECTION FIVE

There also seemed to be many times that I have had men want to have sex so bad I guess you could say. To the point of them trying to force themselves on me. Now for me this had to be something that was in the water. Because it seemed very odd and overwhelming that this has happened more than one time. This just couldn’t be me. Was I the only woman that was placed in this vulnerable situation? No I was not. Because I have spoken to women and young girls here in this city of Atlanta-Erotic City, and this seemed to be common. This was also common it seemed at Freak Nik, which is why the city had to shut it down and not have the event anymore.

I had met a young guy by the name of “Mark” We met on the train podium. I spoke to younger men if they presented themselves to me correctly and I feel maybe able to handle the whole situation in dealing with someone older.

Mark was very eager to take me out and have dinner. He asked if he and I could see each other that evening. I told him that I would let him know. Of course this was after we had exchanged numbers. Mark was being too aggressive in wanting to see me. So of course I said that we should just wait for the weekend. And that we could meet up where he wanted to have dinner at. He agreed to this at first. It was upon a Wednesday when Mark and I had met, he was very attractive to me and I was attracted to him and his style.

Mark also didn’t hesitate when first meeting I to ask me for a kiss and a hug….I was very taken by this. And this was not the first time I had met a man here in Atlanta and they wanted a hug and kiss. And really wanted to press their bodies up close against mine. Was it just here? Was that sexual energy rubbing off on everyone that moved here? Because these were not the people that were from Atlanta that I was meeting.

Mark was persistent in seeing me. So we were going to have dinner. He had a roommate and said that he needed to go to his apartment and take care of something. So I went over to his apartment, and then all of a sudden we were going nowhere. He was now tired, of course I did not drive and he had picked me up. So he said that he wanted to talk get to know me. He sat on the floor and asked me questions about myself and abra cadraba just like that! He was complimenting me and rubbing my legs. And in a flash! His hand was going up my pant leg and he was trying to get my pants off.

I had pushed Mark off of me, and then he came back and started hitting on me again. Then it turned into he just wanted kiss and just hold me. He was extremely antsy and fidgety. He would back up, “Okay, you are right. We are supposed to be talking only.” And then he got up and started again. This man did and did not understand that I did not want him all over me like that. That him throwing himself on me and trying to make me have sex with him was turning me off. And I could not show that I was scared. And the truth was, I was very scared. Because Mark was trying to pull off my clothes as he would place his weight upon me and take it.

That is my time……see you next week as I give you some more recollections of this Erotic City of Atlanta, episode ten.

Toy High
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com
5/2009

EPISODE EIGHT

EPISODE EIGHT



It seems as if me getting closer to my time hear in this erotic city of Atlanta I am seeing more and more, hearing more and more stories. I begin to place myself as a recluse because I have those traits you see. Because when it gets warmer, colder here in Atlanta she seems to be bringing the hungry nature out of people. The want and the need to desperately reach out to the flesh.

There will be some name changes for the privacy of this episode not to reveal their true identity.

Recollection One

“Carol” was born and raised here in Georgia. No children at the age of forty-eight, and is a serious bike rider. And I must say that Carol has the body of a young lady in her twenties. Navel pierced, tight legs, she can wear her stomach out and show those taut legs. She is a very jazzy lady and has a strong addiction for sex and men. Her sex life, though for a lot of women who are in their forties has increased. She has always been a sexual being, and she exudes sexuality in all she does. She would be considered what they now call cougars. But with her it is slightly different; her prey is not of the younger men. It is more due for the men just a few years her junior. A strong flirt with a love and drive that she has no shame in. She sniffs coke almost daily and especially before sex, she hangs out with bikers, but her work life consists of her being and looking very conservative. She is the type of women that will have sex with any woman’s man if she is benefiting.

Carol has sent me pics by text message of her in some pretty precarious situations. Her giving men felatio and we are nowhere near being close friends at all. I have invited Carol to one of the parties I had thrown. Well she actually was invited by a man that I was dating at the time. And this was a man whom said that he could not handle my sex drive and that I needed to be with a woman who had money and was as sexual as I was while he sits and watches the game downstairs in my home. And he could come and join in later. I was aghast, only because how does anyone have the gall to tell me what they are going to do? Not asking, just telling me. How can anyone tell anyone what they plan on doing? He wanted me to have sex with Carol; he called her without my knowledge. He sent her pics of me via text messaging without my knowledge. I have never had a man just offer me over to another woman.

The gentlemen I was dating I will name “Steven” was drawn to my sexually uninhibited nature and was so open to see and try things that he had not. But was this my job to share myself with a man and a woman? I think not, and Steven was one of the many men that I had met in my past that said they were adventurist. And he really had not done anything too far out of the ordinary. Of course since he had mentioned, or told me this my feelings had changed for him. I was not in love with him; however I had love for him. And what I thought was a vey immaculate man had now turned into “They others” Like all the other like minded men. And now my respect had dwindled.

Of course I did not go through with this. While I had distanced myself from Steven, I could never ever take him serious. While Carol was portraying this good girl image, she was far from it. She was interested in illicit sex, but group sex. And she had just left a relationship with a woman for the past two years. And she was more than ready to be with a man. She had revealed this to me, telling me type of man she liked. And that so happened to be my significant other “Drew”

Drew was the type of man she longed for. I had gone back to Drew after I was with Steven. Steven and I had dated for a very short period. And Drew and I had only separated because of some financial issues on his end. Drew had tons of pride, and did not want to be with me until he had a job. However, I did not end the relationship because he was not employed. I knew the type of man that Drew was. Very genuine and loving and such a woman’s man.

Knowing that Drew was with me, Carol asked me, and then said that she was attracted to him. Hmm…I have seen Carol out, we did not become close, but she was a tease and threw herself at men. This was embarrassing to me. And the usage of coke, I am not a judge and have no right to judge anyone for what they do because I am far from perfect. But we are in the south and the tolerance for having drugs on your person did provide a penalty. And that penalty was jail, fines, probation, rehabs, etc., so it was not feasible for me to be around her. And she did this the two of the three times we were in each others presence. And she offered me a sniff the first time. Carol let sex rule her so much that she was upset when she could not have it, and when the men she would give herself to did not pay. Carol use to be an exotic dancer for twelve years.

Carol always sends me porn texts all the time, the jokes and video you may get from others. And what was oxymoron; she would always send me prayers, uplifting scriptures of angels, Jesus and God. I was totally confused of who she was.

RECOLLECTION TWO

Why would I not think that people who were politicians, detectives, policeman, and medical doctors did not have lives outside of their career that they indulged in. Because they do, hobbies, sports and the like. However I never knew that I would meet policemen and politicians who were heavy swingers.

Politicians and anyone in law enforcement is not only supposed to be around any narcotics. But even being off duty they are suppose to report suspicious behavior and not be in the company of people who sell or do drugs of any sort. You would think, but not so. I will tell you about “Officer Ron” in a bit. Who was a police officer for Fulton County, Atlanta Police Department.

There are close to almost two hundred swinger organizations in Atlanta, and many private sectors that you were personally invited to. They were not ones to have a huge following. Small sector of elite people, these are the people that are truly picky of whom they have in their circle. And it is not that easy to get in.

Now, as I have stated in episode three and four about swingers. I have attended parties before and have been invited to so many it is ridiculous. I definitely know that at these parties there are lots of drugs sold and taken. And in this, policeman and politicians are fully aware. But the rule of thumb is, if I don’t see it then I have no knowledge of it. However, if this place is raided, then of course their career or job is at stake. My point is this, are you so caught up in the lust of the flesh where you would jeopardize your status, career, or job for just that one night? I guess so. Well, yes one would. I use to be in the entertainment industry, and one thing I couldn’t do was have sex with the men I worked with. I held an authorative position that I never thought that I could ever see or have. Being a VP was very important me. And I did not want to have a dirty reputation. The men would always come in speaking of their sexual conquest. And speak on the after after party. I never ever indulged in the after after parties. Why? Because I knew what went on there. And the one thing I did not want to see the people I worked with in the light. As far as I was concerned, men and women could hoar themselves. And I looked at it all the same way, men did not get a pass from me because society tended to give men a pass with running around having sex with a lot of women.

When you have the pass to get high, drink and have sex it is a huge concoction for some wild and crazy drama. What behooved me the most was that Ron had a girlfriend whom he had turned out just like pimp does a low self-esteem young woman or girl. A woman who was desperately seeking the attention of having a man in her life because she was needy. And so he told her that he was a swinger, and this was his lifestyle. I could tell when I met her that she was not very comfortable with it when she first started. But it did not matter to Ron, he knew he had her. Even said he loved her very much. If one says so, I guess I come from the school of old. Yes, I am open to a lot of things, and yes I was at time okay with sharing. But I could not see me being married and giving the okay that my husband and I have this type of lifestyle. Back then yes, now, no.

Ron plotted and plotted and now his girlfriend was where he wanted her to be. Open to the whole new world of having sex with other men and women to please her man. And yet, living this lifestyle where he said he was open to, he now wanted to have sex with me on the side and let her know about it so that he wouldn’t feel he was cheating on her. (??) Ron is a very aggressive man, and I would not have felt comfortable having sex with him and his girlfriend knew about it. And then I would have to look in her eyes and be in her company. It is different if we are all at the swinger party and indulge, because everyone is aware of why we are there. I know some of the things that I may reveal may seem oxymoron. But for my personal reasons, when I partook of those things, I didn’t want to develop or have a relationship with any persons sexually outside of that circle. The only exception to this rule was that if they had knowledge in regards to business or assisting me to taking my career to the next level then I was okay with exchanging business cards.

Ron tried me all of the time, and he did not hide this from his girlfriend, and it was hard for me to except his phone calls because he would seem to always take it to when was he going to see me. I wanted Ron’s phone number because he was a cop. And just in case…….

And no matter how many times I told Ron that I didn’t want to have sex with him. This did not stop him from calling me in the wee hours of the morning. The men who did have my number did not want to except that I was giving these parties only to make money and nothing more. I did not participate.

One must understand that in this city of eroticism most of the residents who were bombarded with sex on their minds did not want to assist you get to the next level unless it involved sex in some sort of way. I was very dismayed with this production of so-called brotherhood. Meaning that I thought we all were suppose to add and uplift in our making it to the top of our careers or business’ “I want to have sex with a woman first before I start a relationship with her.” Is what I was told by a gentlemen who I had given my number to. I was surprised, I know that we all are at times so attracted to another person that we may jump at the opportunity to have sex with them. But to be so abrupt in revealing this info to a person when you are trying to get to know them makes no sense to me at all. Sex was like going to a Mc Donald’s drive-thru and placing your order, it was just that easy.

I will say that my eyes were open to all of this madness, and that I got caught up for a spell. And the reason why I had started to give parties was because it was easy money and something that a lot of people were into. But as time went on, just like the entertainment business had worn me out with the lust of the flesh. Atlanta, well she was wearing me out with all the extreme sexual aggressiveness of the men and women there. When I met a man who said he hadn’t had sex in a long time, I did not believe them. Too hard for me to believe them. It was too easy to get!

See you at episode nine, when I get to more and more personal stories and interviews….

Toy High
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com
5/2009

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

Please answer this for me….how can an individual who is an alcoholic be around another alcoholic and say, “You drink too much?” Is there any right to say so? To judge the other person so harshly? Well, as oxymoron as it sounds and is, I have been there and done that so much while living in Atlanta. A person who enjoys a healthy sex life, and enjoys the recreation come to a place and meet people that had the same outlook. But when is enough enough? And when is too much too much?

Well it is true, I was instantly turned off by so much sexual energy that exuded in the Erotic city if Atlanta that I no longer wanted to have a relationship with any man. It was too easy to have sex here, too easy.

In exchanging numbers with men at my job, whom I thought were harmless turned out to be something else later down the line. What had bamboozled me the most was not speaking on the phone at all, and out of the clear blue getting a text out of nowhere sometimes months later. “When are you going to let me go down on you?” What? I’m a little lost. We never ever had any conversation that spoke of getting with each other in that manner. Nor did we have, or at least I didn’t sense any sexual chemistry between us. And because I am, or let me say pretty perceptive if a man is attracted to me. But to all of a sudden get a text message asking me that blew me out of the water! And the text messages from various men began to blow up my phone on a regular and surprise me.

If I smiled, gave a compliment, which is something I do with all people. I am a charmer, and with that it means I will say, “Hey beautiful how are you?” Once I got to know the men and women at my job. We would hug each other and kiss each other on the cheek. Of course this was in a non-sexual way. But my actions were eventually taken to be something they were not.

And this towards the end of my tenor at the company made me become a recluse. Where I limited more and more speaking to certain people because they had my pegged wrong. How could one not know after all this time at my job that this was just who I was, but this was sexy, a turn on. Because I was so positive and inviting it took on the appeal sexual signs and that is not how I meant it t all. I have had many many people say to me, “Toy the person you are is what attracts so many to you.” And yes I do understand that. And if this were so true, then why was I still left with the feeling that I was only a sexual pawn? And not have those who wanted to befriend me (males) and work on having a great rapport with one another? Still behooves me to this day. And the factor that I had to continue to defend myself in saying that I did not want to have sex.

There is a man whom I will call “Peter” He was at that time the regional manager of the company. He was a Bible quoting, faith walking, married pastor. Spoke of the love he had for his wife. And that prayer was the answer and God will work it all out. And even though I didn’t walk the straight and narrow. I do believe in God and all of his promises. However, I am not one to teach or preach and not live my life as an example. In other words, I do not play with God at all. At first it was all innocent, “Hey baby how you doing?” “I’m fine and you?” “I’m blessed” went to giving me hugs, which was not what he was suppose to do, no physical contact at all. Which did not bother me at all, I am an affectionate person. And then it progressed. “Girl you will make me cheat on my wife.” And then he would quote a scripture afterwards. Because I worked the early shift, there was hardly t many people that came in that early. But his advances had become a regular thing. And he would then began to tell me that if I needed anything he would be there, if I understood where he was coming from. Yes I understood what he was saying. It wasn’t until about two to three weeks that I had gotten tired. Why did I not report him? I didn’t want to bring any shame to him, and I knew that I could handle him. He would lie back, and then at times come back on strongly.
I was later told that he had a young lady fired from the company because she threatened to tell on him. He did it right before she got a chance. I was also told that he had hit on a few women there, and was having an affair with the receptionist.

I do want to make a valid point here, I do know that there are people who cheat, and are very flirtatious. And that is everywhere you go in the world. I was speaking to a person that had wanted to go to New Orleans. He said that it seemed as if it was a sexy town. If that is how you would like to look at it. But New Orleans, well, that is an erotic city. So much in fact but we will talk about that city another time.

The “norm” before someone literally feels comfortable in asking you to have sex is usually when they feel your vibe. However in major cities in the United States sexual play maybe a little higher than other places. Now in small towns in the south and in states that have cities a small population, pregnancy is high. There is nothing more to do but have sex. However I am speaking more on the level of when there are so many people in a metropolitan city. And they are plagued with the sexual bug, so quick to want to get laid. If they can have it the same day or night, or even the next day, that’s even better.

When I first got to Atlanta I was excited about meeting new prospects. Start dating and enjoying life. I had put men on the back burner for a couple of months because I had so much on my plate and I was just disappointed with all the men that I had met and was meeting. None seemed to be on the same page that I was on. There would be a sexual attraction for me, but I would not have a sexual, mental, or a physical attraction. And for me when there is someone that is more into me than I am to him. I am even more turned off by that man. Unfortunately for me in some cases, I am turned off very quickly and by small things when it comes to the opposite sex. Some things can just really creep me out.

If you ever have gone to Vegas, or have even talked to anyone who has gone to Vegas. Most of them will tell you they had a great time. For those who drink, they will drink even more. And you don’t have to drink alcohol if that is not your forte. And then there is the night life, there is a club in every hotel. All types of music for all different taste. There are things for the families to do together, prostitution, rather you are into that or not. And there is plenty of gambling, and there are a lot of people that have gone and go to Vegas and they are not gamblers. My point to this is, you will get sucked up into something that Vegas offers. And one thing that the city offers is plenty of alcohol and sex.

This is what Atlanta was to me, there was plenty here being offered. Rather you decided t get deeply involved or not, it was there. However I can guarantee that someone has a close friend that has gotten into a sexual tryst here. Lost a mate here, or even participated in what goes on here. It is a real deep and psychological issue when so many people feel so comfortable with asking for sex and throwing themselves at you.

I met a man who was not only down-low and had a wife. But he had a girlfriend at the job that also was married. And he still flirted with other women when the girlfriend at work was not around. How many women can one have?

When I had first gotten here and was looking for a job, I had gone to a job fair. There was a man there that was asking me questions about the job fair. I couldn’t answer any questions. I was a new resident here as well. I could tell no need in lying here that “Marcus” was a troubled man and very well could have been running from some troubled past and trying to make a new life for himself here. A lot of people that had moved to Atlanta seemed to be running from something.

What impressed me was that Marcus had a Bible with him. This told me that he had really wanted to get his life on the right track. So we exchanged numbers. We set up a date to hang out with each other. And let me cut through the chase, this man was indeed a real nut case. In going to his house one late afternoon, we talked, he made lunch for me. Then it began, he told me that he hadn’t had sex in a long time because he was saving himself for the right woman. And he wanted to have sex with me. What made him think in the very brief tome that we had known each other I was the right woman for him? I at this point was truly celibate. And sticking to my guns, this almost resulted in a case of rape! Can you imagine? He begged and begged and begged until I had to literally scream at him. He had picked me up, and no buses were running to where I could get home. And I was not too familiar as to where my location was. It was still early, but late according to bus schedules. He promised he would take me home in the morning, I didn’t wait, and I got up, got on the bus and came home. Needless to say, I let him go. He would call and leave messages and ask me who was I with? Why would I not speak to him??? And who was I having sex with? Exhausting.

To be perfectly honest, this column has been enlightening for me. I have seen the things I have gone and been through in a different light. I also have seen as to what I thought money that was the root of all evil turn into sex being the highest commodity here. I noticed just as myself, sex was a drug to lot of these people here. When you are a drug user or an alcoholic, when the addiction has taken control. It does not matter what you do, or how you get your alcohol or drugs from just as long as you get it. This is why we will see drug addicts on the streets sharing pipes, sharing needles, and getting high anywhere. As the same with those who have let their consumption of alcohol consume them. There is no longer the preference of having the “top of the line” drug or alcohol anymore. Just as long as one can get it is what that person is looking for.

People get high, drink, eat, workout, have sex when they are sad, happy, angry, depressed and when nothing is wrong. This is now when you know that it is a vice that you have. Notice a smoker, one of the first things they will do when they get some bad news or going through it they will pick up a cigarette. Even if they just had one. Me myself and I, well I will write. It seems tapping those keys on a keyboard help me to resolve a lot of issues and something inside tales over and its as if I have released all the negative thoughts and energy. And that maybe, just maybe when someone reads my work they feel what I felt at that time. And that they can learn from the experience, knowledge, hope, and wisdom that I relinquish through my words. And as I hope by writing this weekly series that if one person feels what I have said gets it. That they may be able to see themselves. It may not be that they have an issue with sex; it may be that they have issues with other things in their life that are truly addicting.

As I have worked on episode seven, I found myself getting worn on recalling so many events that have happened frequently. As I recall certain stories with you, these are not stories that are spaced out over a period of time. A lot of these things were consecutive. And it wore me out to have to constantly meet and go through the same things over and over. To seemingly have the same conversations over and over. Exhausting.

That is my time. Stay tuned for episode eight, where I dig deeper.

Toy High
5/2009
www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com